All On My Own Lyrics

All on my own, my own

All my emotions are closed in

I kept them all locked up, all frozen

It's what I was told when I was ten

They say it's not right, but how can that be

My body tells me to just let loose and grieve

It's natural, the eye shed, the tears, all the droplets

I grew up, I learned all this all on my own, my own

Drowning your demons with your river flow

No sign of weakness, it's just how it goes

The shedding of tears, it just comes from the soul

See, my dad is a man's man

No fan of toxic masculinity

But I feel that was his identity, especially

Since he had two daughters, came one son

Was the opposite of everything he loved

Tried to mold me into something I'm not

Emotions, I learned all on my own, my own

Shutting it down on the spot

The phrase "man up" essentially means to be a robot

Heard that a lot, was just pushed

Shit like man up, don't be wuss

You're a fucking baby, don't be a bitch

Go and cry again, and that ass is hit

Wasn't pulling tantrums, was just upset

That I had to be around this fucking man

Shut down my hobbies, constant disrespecting

And he wonder why I feel so disconnected

Dreaded going every other weekend

Always ready to just go and leave him

Talking to him was like talking to stone

Had to be myself all on my own, my own

Everything was a joke til you stepped on his toes

Anger management was not in control

Then he'd act like a big fucking baby

Shit is sad when he's just going crazy

Show emotion when you're getting angry

Anything else, no, was just not manly

Losing emotions means losing yourself

Closing it off turns your back on your health

When you were young

You were just taught something else

I can not change you I learned all of this

All on my own, my own

I understand that none of us are real perfect

Wearing some masks to disguise all the hurtin'

Inside is dark so just open the curtains

It goes for so many things

Playing with a Barbie when I just three

These other boys can just hardly believe

Playing this plastic instead their action figure

Actually gets some parents triggered

Being a man isn't what you consume

Or be an emotionless dude

Which I had to learn all on my own, my own

And I hope fathers show

That it's okay to show more than just anger

So they won't feel a stranger

No place where they feel like it's made up

Cold days if emotions are chained up

This shit took me twenty-three years

Now I have no fear to shed some tears