KATARRÉO Lyrics

It's five forty-three

I was wondering, uh, what the latest is

I wish I didn't use my friends as therapists

I wish I didn't waste so much time being scared of it

I wish my authenticity didn't get me embarrassed

I wish I wasn't mocked by friends, teachers, and grandparents

For every other thought and desire

I wish they would admit that they had conspired

To make me look like a liar

So I don't have to take the heat for every time that they promised me water

And then doused me in fire

Call that a bait and a switch

Just throw my hate in a ditch

Or a grave or a pit

Wherever my body lands, so that I can stay with it

And it'll stay with me, locked inside of my bones

The ones I wish I'd never jumped when nobody was home

I wish I wasn't proud of my inevitability

I wish that I could say what's been killing me

I wish the family name wasn't held as a responsibility

I wish that she was into me physically

Not just for the laughs and the good conversation

Being funny's great till you got no one to hang with

So now I'm hoping and I'm praying that somebody understands

What it's like to have acquaintances who all have friends

Man I hope that I can pay my dad back

For every semester that I threw in the trash

After I had moved the tassel that was on my grad cap

When I was wishing they would diss me so that I could clap back

I wonder if they'll miss me when I'm dead and gone

Who should I give the rights to for all these second-rate songs?

Third kid, Golden Child, should have gotten it right

I'm just tryna survive, but I should be living for the light, yeah

Broke out the chamber but I'm still hearing the echoes

No catch me in the shadows holding on when I should let go

Can't wait to say "good morning" but I never say "good night"

Sign off with "peace" but I never stand and fight, yeah

It's oxymoronic, I'm tryna move on it

It's parasitic, bubonic, and I might die to resolve it

But we scrapped that album, so I suppose I should keep living

But I don't want this life of sleeping, working, and sinning

If the Lord don't forgive me, I'm a still try my best

But what is my "best" when I can never get some rest?

No the rest of me is in shambles, like I'm walking in a bramble

And I can't heal myself with a pen or a piano, nah

Trust me I've tried, on the sea catching rides

It comes and goes in waves, SHM on the tides

And I'd adjust the sails, but I'm trapped in all these currents

I keep fighting the urge to light it all up and burn it

If I'm already breaking down, what more could I lose?

I guess my hope, I suppose my fuse, yeah

I'm sorry, you really weren't meant to see this

No, I don't know how to redeem this