ESL3 Lyrics

It's really happening

It's really hard to explain

Boy I got some things I need to get off my chest

These the type of things that are better off said

I really used to think that I'd be better off dead

I romanticized til Andy climbed up on that ledge

Tears fall when my peers fall down that road

My greatest fear's being here when they all just go

How many years did I push away all my folk

Thinking they just don't know

What lies in the heart of I

Tryna be the hardest guy

I saw the dark inside swallowing me

Y'all couldn't see

How that same kid

Eating flame chips

Poppin skate tricks, was always on E

Always on edge, tank less, than you'd guess, I know

A lot of stress on the chest, time to let mine go

But it hold

Like a loving parent

And it's suffocating

Like a loving marriage

I always thought I'd be alone cause they never want me

Now I'll be alone cause it's better probably

I got the freedom I need

To self actualize and if I want the pad for guys I guess that's my prerogative

But still I really want a chick

I think a bi one would suit me fine,

Except bi ones they always got a wondering eye

And I'd be lying if an open relationship sound fine

I got issues I ain't boutta decline

Anger management, I handle with the tides

It comes in then it leaves

But I got more triggers than a dinner with thieves

I can't love if that love ain't beginning with me

And fuck love if that love got unlimited fees

Unconditional please

That's the way it should feel

I used to cut myself to check the way it would heal

I used to judge myself but that shit ain't even real

It ain't even real

My family tree got a problem with favoritism

For some it tastes sweet

But for others they'd say it isn't

I guess we'll play free though we know that we stay imprisoned

Gridlocked

I kid not

Dysfunctional, who is to blame

Got the branches spewing cancer like the roots ain't the same

But it's, easy to say when you're new to the game

With decades of rage with no stage to disengage

Page turning, they burn it and leave it

Guess blood is only thicker than water when y'all receiving

But how many was reaching to reciprocate

We'll leave this for a different day

I peeked into that shit you say, that shit was fake

Look

Still love resides in these bones

If you look inside, realize this ain't cold

We can't go back, this is how we make it up

This that grown man shit, it's called waking up

Had I known way before I started taking drugs

That I could build a life that I ain't need to try escaping from

I'd have put it on God my time one day would come

Here it come

So I'm finally getting over this

And putting on a show for all Jehova's kids

A pro until it's over with

I bet you didn't know that I was so legit

Did you

Boy I got some things I need to get off my chest

These the type of things that are better off said

I really used to think that I'd be better off dead

But I fought

Now I ain't gotta exit stage left