Cold Human Lyrics

As I sit here and think about all I've done wrong

Every morning I look under the pillow and reach for a gun

I just wanna grab it and squeeze

Cock aim and release

So Sick of this fucking schizophrenic disease

But it has changed me

Probably made me

Talking to myself everybody thinks that I'm crazy

But Where were you when I needed you the most

Where were you when I had no where go

You were No where to be seen

Because I was sorta a feen

Now I've grown up the man y'all acting to keen

Some say it coulda been the fucking hard drugs

Or my dad always bashing up on my mum

The difference with me and you I did it alone

The difference with me and you, you had somewhere to go

So please don't come to at me with your troubles

Guarantee mine are worse I'm dealing with doubles

These voices in my head

I just wanna be dead

So sick and fucking tired always taking my meds

I hear lotta ya say you been to hell and back

But I'm still in hell and the devil won't let me back

So I sit and pray

For some better days

Can't believe the anxiety is eating away

You can't get close to me

Cause when you do

You feel that evil grab ya neck and choke you toooo

Thinking

Am I crazy am I crazy

Is this the way way god made me

Maybe I am

Maybe I'm not

Could drugs be the reason that I lost the plot

I dunno why

All These demons inside

Always telling me that I'll never fucking survive

Tell me how the fuck you meant to get through that

Put that bullet in the chamber and go

Now it hurts cause I'm a cold human

Thinking how the fuck fuck i get through this

Am I stupid

Am I stupid

How the fuck am I gonna get through this

Now it hurts cause I'm a cold human

Thinking how the fuck fuck i get through this

Am I stupid

Am I stupid

How the fuck am I gonna get through this

Could be Hereditary

Or how it was stained in jeans

But guarantee it was the reason I was running with feeens

I've been through darkest

I've stood with the baddest

Still unknown why ended up the saddest

Am I crazy am I crazy

If your watching lord please save me

Please save me

Please save me

Please save me

Please save me

I'm so lost Couldn't tell you when I'll be back

Just know if said I love you i fucking mean that

So when they lay me to rest

Just know I tried my best

All these up and downs in life was a big test

Don't cry for me now

Satans opened door

I always thought my life would mean just lil more

Can't deal the pain

I'll throw it away

Wish I could detox my brain and body today

To go back to where I lived

As that innocent kid

I'll never ever say sorry

I did what did

I'm twisting up inside of my head

How could I be the only cunt that wants to drop dead

Imma trying survive

Only way I can

This is a survival of darkest darkest of men

I got trust issues and yeah they roll deep

Why no one wanna be wolf instead of the sheep

This where I cut it off

My life not enough

God dealt me my cards but I'm seeing his bluff

I wanna kick and scream

No emotions left

That's why I put this down on my pad an my pen

It's the only way to express how I feel

Chased so many monsters I just wanted to kill

Shouldn't let him win

But it came from with in

This creature took my soul and he's counted my sins

Now it hurts cause I'm a cold human

Thinking how the fuck fuck i get through this

Am I stupid

Am I stupid

How the fuck am I gonna get through this

Now it hurts cause I'm a cold human

Thinking how the fuck fuck i get through this

Am I stupid

Am I stupid

How the fuck am I gonna get through this