FeeL Again (Bonus) Lyrics

Every single night I lay awake just wishing I'd cry or shed a tear but I'm fine, I'm okey

This emptiness from my pain

Say need space when I'm locked inside my chest I don't wanna fade

Every single night I lay awake just wishing I'd die or suffocate I'm alright, I'm okey

This emptiness from my pain say need space I just wanna feel again

Look

Sometimes my head is a mess

And I keep crumbling

I put my pain into words so I stop mumbling

When I was in class my teachers told me stop stuttering

The dreams I was having were just a movie scene

Friday the thirteenth repeat twice every night

No one would understand the horror I would go through when I tried to sleep

Why the bags under my eyes be looking weak

Banging on my door again and blasting his re-mastered records

And he wonders why he's late to pick us up again

The feeling when you see your mentors alcoholic fits and you can't do nothing but stand And watch him take the punch again

Lungs collapsing on the bed she was strangling him

Or when your coach locks you and your sister in the car

Chain smoking his cigarettes

Threatens to drive off forever with us

Pulls a knife on me for not cleaning dishes he says hes joking but these actions were Vicious this

Sticks in my mind im useless, lazy and a disappointment

So when I did fuck up or fail he laughs in enjoyment

Degraded all I was and who I've learnt was forced to take his crap

So in my dreams I try escape even for a nap

Instead I relive every moment of abuse me and my sister took

And she's going through hell as well her suicide attempts they all remind me why I Started to rap

Wishing I hadn't failed my attempt at 14

Just felt pain and misery like I must be destained to fail

All my albums have gotten me no where and this is the only one thing of two that's Delaying my own decease, yup

I'm just a pawn in my society so just move the next chess piece, please

I said

Every single night I lay awake just wishing I'd cry or shed a tear

I'm not fine, I'm not okey

This hollow mood on my face

Say need space when I'm locked inside my room I just wanna fade

Every single night I lay awake just wishing I'd try to end my pain

I'm not alright, say I'm okey

This emptiness from my pain say need space I don't wanna feel again

I grew up in a broken home with an abusive drug addict father but he can't help it

His spinal fluid is lacking

And a alcoholic controlling mother but she can't help it her mind is using the backseat

It's not her it's the wine

With a sister who self-harms nearly every day from her panic attacks

Cause she don't know how to cope when her manic gets bad but

Shit

Who am I to judge

A BPD, IE, anxiety ridden to

Pen and paper, yup

I can't help it either I guess

The sun will rise over the field again

And all of these songs the illusion to my life

Cause now you see I'm not

Ready yet