I Miss You Lyrics

When I was seven I would fantasize and dream

I thought about potential, all the things I could achieve

A couple months from twenty and I'm barely getting sleep

More focused on the money than the people that I reach

I started talkin' to this girl I've known forever

Back then we split apart, and now we find ourselves together

She's staying at my place, but I don't feel like I've met her

Cause I'm hidin' what I am with these road trips and sweaters

She doesn't see the darkness but she feels it, I can tell

Soon, see I'm heartless when she knows the way I feel

Like nothin' ever touch me, and she knows that I'm ashamed

In the ways I numb the pain, and the picture that I paint

I was clean 100 days, then I threw it all away

Cause the pressure that I place to be the greatest

Obsessin' on reception from the public on my latest

Thought I had substance, but all that was the fakest

My emotions on another plane

And I'm just prayin' that I do the same

I'm just prayin' that I find escapes

That are healthy and don't fill me with this self-hate

Another fuck up, I'm at Hell's gates

And my family is far away

With my brothers, but no guarantee I'm gonna stay

So I've been plannin' for my life inside another state

I can either be alone or I can play it safe

That's the question that I can't address

Like was I wrong to pick poems over passin' tests

Do I have a special somethin' findin' me success

Or will I be a foolish failure when I'm laid to rest

I just wanna make myself proud

But lately compliments don't make a sound

I've been different, base it solely off of who's around

Crazy highs always coupled with these crazy downs, like I'm trippin'

Was attached to her in February, dropped it off in fall

She stuck with me through everything and now we never talk

This shit was my choice, and I didn't give it closure

But now she can be happy, 'cause what we had is over

I'm overworked but I could never rest

Cause I could be exceptional, it's in my chest

They ain't bringing what I can so if I'm not the best

It's cause I'm actin' like nothing that I could be

Got a glimpse of my potential and I'm shook

I'm lucky cause the bulk of us don't even get to look

I sabotage the love that I was given with no hesitation

I've been scared to act, tellin' me it's only patience

Cause if I told 'em what I'm really thinkin

If they saw the shit I did when I was with my demons

I stuck a knife inside the back of someone tryna free me

Said it's love, gave it to a stranger with no feeling

I don't call my dad, I don't take the time to see him

When I was growing up, all I wanna do is be him

Now I wanna have a Ghost that he can ride inside

Bring my family up a level from a nine to five

Give my brother fifty thousand for a watch

His birthday is tomorrow but I'm feelin' like it's not

Cause even though I'm trying, I still just ain't my mom

I don't know who to be, who I am is what I lost, yeah

I fucking miss all you