Breaking Lyrics

I don't mean to break

But I just need more faith

I remember it all

Nighttime when dreams should've been at my palms

Bright mind was clean but she bit off my drawls

My drink had leaned on her but she let it fall

Nice guy turned mean now it is all my fault

Every time we link I let her talk

Now she seduced how I think, she clever at it all

Knows how I think, knowing I remember it all

Like when negativity took control of my thoughts

I let her run free when I shoulda chained her claws

Kept her on a leash cuz she's a female dog

Let her bark and scream in her cage and all

Cuz that's what she did to me and I was lost

Was scared to try the Lord's peace cause I was feeling off

I'm not used to being at ease and feeling strong

I'm used to feeling creased and loosed as I recall

Couldn't fall on my knees cuz I felt unworthy to call

I don't mean to break

But I just need more faith

I can pray for forgiveness

But when I do I never feel like I'm forgiven

I guess cuz afterwards imma go back to sinning

God plz don't get tired of me I'm hypocretin

My difference ain't so different

Blame her existence

Even tho I gotta master Sindy's little kitten

Let her know I'm not her slave, have her grips overwritten

I wanna change and she knows that's why she won't let go

She been tryna make me go missing

Even tho I'm distant

From the world, tryna go far and create some distance

My emotions are claustrophobic and inconsistent

I didn't know how to let go and let the Omniscient

Make me resistant to her sinful kisses

I know I am more

Grinding for more, efficient core

Can't stomach the instant gore, a persistent whore

I love how she screams when I'm hitting her sore

Face while I spit on the floor

Just to scrape her on it more

I don't mean to break

But I just need more faith

I need more faith to keep goin

I keep on doubting but You say Your way keeps me going

Eyes on Your prizes should keep me away from the lowest

Goal and besides what I face won't come the closest

To what you have in mind

I wanna break but I'm chosen

I wanna say I give up but I'm not gonna blow it

Wrap me around the wires to make this explosion

I won't implode and she knows it, I hate promotion

But I want recognition for the time I have poured in

Music and in these lyrics

Are the words I have found to express

What is not spoken normally

And the time I can say what's in my chest

Is in chords and vocals and chorus

Cause I know I am Broken