Grounds for Divorce Lyrics

I'm a wooly old fur trapper

Stopped my truck to use the crapper

At a road side diner bar and grill

Our eyes met across the parking lot

She smiled as she ate her tater tots

And I know'd her love would be forever true

She said I might get lucky

We got married in Kentucky

A cross eyed girl, her hair in curls

The love I had is now gone

She couldn't keep her pants on

Now I'm drinkin' stinkin' whiskey everyday

Thar was grounds for divorce

Whence she mounted that horse

Hence I kicked in the door

Now there's blood on the floor

Well it twas all I could take

Down at the Hometown Buffet

Lookin thru a salad bar sneeze-guard

She was neckin' with my pard

An Old Fart

Well I loved her like my momma

Till she made love to a llama

Now I'm doing time in county jail

They called her Able Mabel

Could drink me under the table

She liked smokin' Camels with her beer

She liked to roast a chicken

She liked my nose for pickin'

But she ain't been stickin' around

She could bite, scratch, and kick

Betwixt my toes she'd lick

Now I'm in the can for doin' wrong

Thar was grounds for divorce

Whence she had intercourse

With four town cannibals

And somma' our farm animals

Told my lawyer help me please

Even in church she's on her knees

She's not that law abidin'

Just her way of giving tithin'

To The Lord

She was an angel

Her hair was all tangled and

I just don't love her anymore

Jing and a Jangle

My manhood she a mangled and

I just can't love her anymore

Thar was grounds for divorce

She was cheatin' yes of course

Even men from outer space

Skank be sitting' on their face

Well it twas all I could take

Down at the Hometown Buffet

Lookin thru a salad bar sneeze-guard

She was neckin' with my pard

Thar was grounds for divorce

Whence she had intercourse

With four town cannibals

And somma' our farm animals

Told my lawyer help me please

Even in church she's on her knees

She's not that law abidin'

Just her way giving tithin'