Christmas Crush Lyrics

Santa please get me a girl

I've been looking for the right one

All year long

It's December now, common gimme a break

I'm done with these goddamn dating apps

I wanna have some schnaps under the mistletoe

C'mooon man

I know you ain't that busy

I should cum first on your list

The PUN is intended

You know that I been a good boy

Went to work, did my chores, and even folded my own clothes

Do the right thing Santa Claus

This is Mrs. Claus

And let me tell you

Nobody talk to my man like that

Just some food for thought

He gives presents to over 2.6 billion children

And he always get the job done...!

And he's a strong man

HO HO MOTHERFUCKING HO

Mrs. Clause I'm gonna need you to step out of the room for a second

I'm gonna need a word with AQ, RIGHT NOW

Listen up young man

you don't know the first thing about getting a good woman

You don't know what it takes

You always have to listen her, and you can never talk back

Even if you speak with logic, they're always in the right

You gotta make sure you're fit

and a damn good job

Treat everyone with kindness

and have goddamn some confidence

and most of all have a bit of patience!

I did all those things...!

I hate Christmas, I don't believe in you anymore Santa Claus

Okay I'm kidding...

but whatever... I guess I'll wait till next year...

Only 6 more days to go... pffft