Black Friday Lyrics

We gather 'round the table, just one day before

Saying grace and giving thanks for what we're grateful for

"Bless the food, the friends, and the family we hold dear,"

We smile and laugh like we've got nothin' to fear

But then the sun sets, and something starts to change

The kindness fades away, and people act deranged

Thanksgiving's just a memory, all the love's in the past

'Cause Black Friday's coming, and it's time to kick some ass

They're lining up like soldiers, a battalion in disguise

The greed of holiday deals gleams bright in their eyes

Everyone is after those sales

Grannies out there going as far as beating tails

Fists start flying in the Walmart aisles

And that blessed "thankfulness" turns into savage smiles

We went from "thanks, I'm so blessed" in a loving state

To flipping carts and jabbing elbows like MMA

It's crazy how one day we're kind and sincere

Saying "thank you and bless you" and "so glad you're here."

We count all our blessings with hands held tight

But when midnight strikes, it's a whole new fight

"Grateful and giving" go right out the door

When bargains and doorbusters are what we adore

One moment we're sharing, and giving a pass

The next it's pure chaos, grandmas whoopin' ass

TVs and toasters get snatched off the racks

"Move it, sister, or I'll give ya a whack

That old lady's sneaky, with her cane on attack

Got a mean left hook better not talk back

"Wasn't she just saying grace the day before

Now she's on the ground, wrestling folks for the store

The sweetest old gal who baked pumpkin pie

Now she's swinging and swearing like she's ready to die

Shoppers pile up high like a bargain bin stack

Everyone's a target, no one's got your back

Everyone is after those sales

Grannies out there going as far as beating tails

Throwin' down for the last air fryer on the shelf

If you want it, man, you gotta defend yourself

We went from "thanks, I'm so blessed" in a loving state

To tug-of-war matches, oh the way they deflate

Oh, the irony's rich, it's twisted and crass

How we give thanks, then start kicking some ass

From "pass the potatoes" and "please take the rolls,"

To "move it, buddy, I'm takin' those bowls!"

"Forgive us our sins" we said yesterday night

But it's Black Friday now, and I'm ready to fight

Deals up for grabs? It's no holds barred

We're duking it out in the parking lot yard

Everyone is after those sales

Grannies out there going as far as beating tails

Peace and love on Thanksgiving's serene tablecloth

And now we're ripping hair like we're David Lee Roth

We went from "thanks I'm so blessed" in a loving state

To tug-of-war matches, oh the way they deflate

Yeah, we count all our blessings, then scream and shout

The heart of the holiday? To knock someone out

So much for thankfulness, kindness, and cheer

On Black Friday, it's clear, only greed perseveres