Backslidin Lyrics

The woman takin care of me takes care to never let me be

You know I'd go home but she'll just be standing there

In the porchlight with her rolling pin she'll cross her arms say "Where you been?"

I'll say "I can't say" and she'll say "No you tell me where"

I'll say "I can't say" and she'll just sigh and frown

And I'll try to sleep just knowing she's still standing there

Thinking how every time she trusts me I just go and let her down

The time it sure has slipped by fast my curfew's come and gone and passed

And my money all got spent before my tab was paid

With another night of streets to roam and anywhere to go but home

I'll begin to wonder of the impact my impression's made

I'll begin to wonder if I been lost or found

I'll begin to wonder just how far off the path I've strayed

And if it's likely I could make it back if I just stopped and turned around

But now I'm frightened more of myself than of the thunder or the lightening

More of the dawn than of the night that knows no brightening lets me keep on hidin

I know my wrongs need rightening and tho I know when it's just bait well I'm still bitin

The more I wait the more I feel the noose a tightenin and the stakes're heightening

And tho I hardly feel the slack and know I won't fall through the crack

I'm hardly gone before I'm back—backslidin

The preacher asks me if I pray I tell him each and every day

He asks me "How?"—as if he really didn't know

I tell him first I close my eyes then I just kind of wait to be surprised

"And does that work?" he always wants to know

"And does what work?" I say for my response

"Are your prayers answered—does God say 'yes' and 'no'?"

I tell him: "Father God does whatever the hell he damn well wants"

I try to keep the leash on tight try to do what's good and just and right

And it's not too hard so long as no one's keepin score

But somehow midway down the line I find I'm cursed by my own design

And its no use explaining what I do things for

And its no use trying to use my words

Cause all I say is something someone's said somewhere before

And comes out sounding just like nothing that I ain't already heard

But now I'm frightened—more of my self than any madness I'm ignitin

More of my heart than of my love that needs requitenin that feels your spitenin

I know my wrongs need rightenin and tho I'm running low on fuel well I'm still ridin

And tho I've broken every rule I was abidenin seems no one's mindin

And tho it used to be an act I used to do it just for laughs

Seems now the whole charade is cracked and I'm just back—backslidin

My teacher taught me to be sick of science and arithmetic

"What good" I asked "is any of this stuff anyways?"

He warned me with a tired scold that "if you don't do as you're told

Well you'll find out for yourself one of these days

And you'll find out just how far you can get"

And I found out right away because I cursed him to his face

And only lately have I thought of it as something I regret

The officer of my parole he says I'm under his control

And that if I even laugh too loud well he'll be at my side

I can feel his eyes upon my skin I'd shut them out but they lock me in

They say "You're lucky" but that ain't quite been verified

They say "You're free again" but that ain't quite been proved

They had my story written out before I testified

And I was sentenced for I knew of what I'd even been accused

And now I'm frightened more of myself than any foe that I've been fightin

More of the truth than of the lies that they've been writing they're self-indicting

But my wrongs need rightening and tho I know the fuse is close well I'm still firin

The gate that leads to my destruction's ever-widenin slowly closing in

And tho I knew it for a fact when the cards were dealt the deck was stacked

I still went all in for a jack and now I'm back—backslidin