Daddy's Gotta Dookie Lyrics

Been on the road since the crack of dawn,

Had too much coffee, and now it's gone wrong.

I'm driving like a bat outta hell,

Pedal to the floor, I'm not doin' so well.

That brown snake's playin' peekaboo,

Peekin' out and then duckin' right back through.

Sweatin' bullets, clenching tight,

I gotta make it home before it's fight or flight!

Daddy's gotta dookie, and it ain't no joke,

I'm driving fast, prayin' I don't choke.

The bathroom's callin', I'm breakin' all the laws,

This is a race that I can't afford to pause!

Hold on, y'all, Daddy's on a mission,

There's a brown snake peekin' with dangerous ambition!

Pull into the driveway, slam the door,

Kickin' down toys, I'm headin' for the floor.

Pushed the kids aside, jumped over the dog,

I'm runnin' like a man caught in a bathroom fog.

Keys won't work, I'm jigglin' the lock,

I'm breakin' a sweat while the clock goes tick tock.

Finally get inside, I'm sprintin' down the hall,

Pushin' through the house like I'm in a free-for-all!

Daddy's gotta dookie, and it's gettin' real,

Kids and dogs are flyin'—you know the deal.

Made it to the bathroom, can't wait no more,

Hit that porcelain throne like I won the war!

Hold on tight, Daddy's on the loose,

Ain't nothin' stoppin' this runaway caboose!

Now I'm sittin' there in sweet, sweet relief,

But I'm afraid the house'll need a priest.

The wife's gaggin', the kids won't come near,

The smell's so bad it could bring a tear.

Nose hairs burnin', they're runnin' for the door,

It's a fallout zone that they can't ignore.

The dog's howlin', the plants have wilted too,

I left that bathroom lookin' like World War II!

Daddy's gotta dookie, and it's finally done,

But now the house smells like a nuclear bomb.

They're gaspin' for air, tryin' to escape,

I told 'em not to follow, but it's too late!

So here I sit, in victory's sweet end,

But I'm pretty sure I'll never smell clean again.