Mummy's Boy Lyrics

You look just like your father

But you're beginning to see your mother's face when you look into the mirror

Her quaint head sits on your shoulders as you make decisions

Her bony fingers poking you out of silliness

Her determined eyes steel you to be insurmountable

Her voice rings in your head

Leaves a trail of bread crumbs for a lifetime of never getting lost.

You used to think God coloured the lines in the corner of her eyes a little too hard

The way tiredness burrowed itself into her forehead

Walked past the boundaries of her cheekbones

And gushed out of her mouth like dandelions in bloom

But now you know that your mother was just imprinting her heart on you

Inherited trauma from men has fueled her determination to grow

Her own boy from scratch, skin, bones, heart and conviction

When she peddles her truth to you as fact her face becomes a bruised fruit

Anxiety dragging itself across her chest

She used to fist blows into your boyish night time dreams

And hold you as though you belonged only to her

But you have come to learn it is fear making itself known

For was it not fear that caused your mother to make it law that you were suddenly allergic to pawpaw

11 days before your 12th birthday

All because you puked 2kg of your already scrawny self out after eating a fruit salad

When she decided that was the last time you would ever touch the damned fruit

you did not complain

After all it was she who threw her body at God's feet

begging him to make you whole

All she had she gave for you

Her big appetite for goodness handed down to you

People see a shine to you and wonder about it

But they do not know you're tattooed in your mother's prayers

When you're praying for capacity to break boundaries

She's praying for a girl who'll love you wide enough to keep you inked in God's palms

She dreams you wealthy, happy and healthy

You dream you the man she wants you to be times 2

Carving a life for yourself, determined not to be like the villains in your mother's past

She lines up the sins of men from the east to the west

Says "if you sneaked in on heaven right this minute there'll not be a single man up there"

You ask her if you're not a man too and without missing a beat she tells you

You, you are not a man, no, you are my gift

You're the heartbeat in the hollow of my neck when I'm checking for God

You're the light on the hill leading others to glory

You're my good harvest

No you're not a man