XY Lyrics

There will be no stagnation

There will be no permanence to our blues

There will be no mourning of the dead while we're still breathing into our bodies

This poem is having none of that

In this poem we are still becoming

Some days we're the little boy in class being punished for staining the front of his school shirt with a bruised mango

And some days we're the grown man in his gray couch happily licking mango off his hands

Our hunger is so ripe everyone wants to feed us

The whole world is our playground

We're old enough to not be scared but not young enough to have no cares

We gulp down sadness as though it were fresh air

We think we're burying our grief but we're only rehabilitating it

Sometimes we catch our bodies bending into nonchalance

Our minds become a container for bruises unattended

Every try again is a prayer that didn't get lost under the weight of unease

We trace the backbone of a wound with forced smiles and show up for ourselves in spite of ourselves

Some days we're so full of ache our words are endless

Some days we're so full of ache words dry up in our mouth

And it feels as though everything is conspiring to steal our joy

But this poem is having none of that

When we manage to sit in the stillness of our thoughts

We imagine God laughing, a big bold laugh that sounds just like ours

We are not there yet but by God will we get there

And while we wait

And while we strive

And while we tire and fuel our patience

And we will get there and by God will we shout