Scars of My Past Lyrics

I looked in the mirror and thought

How did I become so lost

I wanna live this dream

But I don't know what it will cost

I think to myself every day

What would happen if I prayed

But then I remember

My life would still be grey

'Cause I don't know if I believe

I feel like I'm being deceived

By a single man

That has not been proved to me

Yet, he controls my life

The highs and the strife

So, if you're out there

Please give me a sign

They say you die twice

Once when they bury you in the grave

And the second time is the last time somebody says your name

So will my legacy live on

Will people listen to the songs

Will these lyrics help your mental even when mines gone

I don't wanna keep livin' lies

But I can't say I'll give it another try

So I sit in my room and start to cry

Get in my head and start asking why

Why am I still alive

Why can't I just die

I'm sad every single day

Now I wanna say bye-bye

I got all these addictions

They mucking about with my system

Don't even bother asking about them

I don't have time to list 'em

I'm 10 drinks down

Feel like I'm gonna drown

Don't try to help me

I already left the town

I've seen people die to a knife

I've seen people take their own life

I've seen all of the spirits bring out the evil inside

And trust me, that's something you don't wanna see

I've seen them sprint from the scene

After the gun echoes out its screams

I'm so distant

Two parts of my mind are conflicted

I don't know which one to listen to

It's causing too much friction

These words just want eviction

But I don't know how to do it

Unless I'm on a beat

So take a seat and now I'll spew it

There's so much that goes on in my head

That can only be released through lead

I try to make peace

But I can't get out of these sheets

My vision is always clouded

By distorts that mess with my milage

Workin' with half a tank

Now my minds just gone blank

I'm only committed to suicide

It's my longest relationship

But I don't wanna die

I wanna kill this version of me

That's trapped inside this key

And that way I can unlock

Everything that's blocked

Then I can improve all of my cons

Right all of my wrongs

We only get one life

And I wanna live it right

I wanna leave a legacy

I wanna be a shining light

I wanna give people the might

To go and fight their demons

It seems that now, they're leaving

So now I can live in freedom

I haven't beaten my depression

But I've at least taught it a lesson

Made sure that it's lessened

Hope I make it up to heaven

But I have one question

Is that where I'm destined

Lord, you know my bad deeds

You know how I bleed

You know what it means

You know where I've been

Searching for the answers

The scars of my past

Hoping they could last

And maybe they will

But I'll have to give them the will

And that's something that I never will