Tavern Tales Lyrics

We set out bold with sword and shield

To claim the treasures, make them yield

But all we've found are battle scars

And one too many broken bars

Our quests have failed, our maps are torn

We've fought a dragon, lost to scorn

The goblins laughed, the ogres roared

And we came back with nothing more

So here's to ale and tales so grand

Of heroes who could barely stand

We'll laugh at plans that went awry

And toast to adventures gone awry

Raise your mug, here's to defeat

Our victory's in our retreat

We fought the dark and failed, it's true

But we're still here, and that's our cue

To sip and tell our wildest dreams

Of all the monsters, all the schemes

We're back again, and though we're worn

We'll drink to battles we've adorn

The wizard's staff is now a broom

The rogue's been stuck inside his room

The cleric's prayers have turned to whine

And the bard's lost track of all the lines

We tried to save a village once

But ended up with fewer funds

The dragon's hoard is still intact

Our gold's been lost, and that's a fact

Raise your mug, here's to defeat

Our victory's in our retreat

We fought the dark and failed, it's true

But we're still here, and that's our cue

To sip and tell our wildest dreams

Of all the monsters, all the schemes

We're back again, and though we're worn

We'll drink to battles we've adorn

So here's to us, the heroes flawed

Who never made it past the fraud

We'll laugh at how we always fail

And toast to life's most epic tale

Raise your mug, here's to defeat

Our victory's in our retreat

We fought the dark and failed, it's true

But we're still here, and that's our cue

To sip and tell our wildest dreams

Of all the monsters, all the schemes

We're back again, and though we're worn

We'll drink to battles we've adorn