Where Luxury Never Dies Lyrics

Are you tired of the same old boring final resting places?

Looking for something a bit more… luxurious?

Well, folks, today is your lucky day!

We present to you the finest in post-life accommodations...

the Eternal Rest Coffin Collection!

Our coffins aren't just vessels...

They're a statement!

Handcrafted with premium oak, lined with the softest velvet, and finished with a high-gloss polish,

These coffins ensure you'll rest not only in peace, but also in style.

But that's not all! If you order within the next 10 minutes, we'll throw in something truly special.

Our patented, Eternal Beauty Rest Pillow, absolutely FREE!

Made with space micro-filament fiber technology, this pillow is designed to keep your loved one's head cradled in the lap of luxury for all eternity.

It's so comfortable, you'll be dying to try it out yourself!

And remember, the Eternal Beauty Rest Pillow is only available with a purchase made during this special broadcast.

That's right, available for the next ten minutes only, you can secure your first class tickets to the afterlife!

CALL NOW! DON'T DELAY!

Secure your eternal comfort today!

We guarantee our products will still be in tip top condition long after you've turned to dust or we'll refund your entire purchase!

And remember...

Here at Eternal Rest, we don't just sell coffins,

We provide eternal peace of mind.

Call now and give the gift of eternal rest!

Because your loved ones deserve nothing but the best...

Even in the afterlife.

Thank you for calling Eternal Rest, Where Luxury Never Dies,

How can I assist you today?

Call now and give the gift of eternal rest!

Because your loved ones deserve nothing but the best...

Even in the afterlife.

Thank you for calling Eternal Rest, Where Luxury Never Dies,

How can I assist you today?