CUT MY LOSSES///////RUMINATING Lyrics

I got a lot of pain I still need to get healed through

I know I said I healed, man I really thought I did too

So call me a fake, call me a snake, say that you hate, so I could break and lose what's at stake

Cause I can't even trust the process

I feel I'm a piece of garbage

I just have to cut my losses

I don't ever want to call it

All my friends have looked and said it

I just keep on hitting dead ends

I continue losing close friends

I'm not boasting I'm just broken

No one knows I haven't spoken

I'm just bottling depression

I'll lead you the wrong direction

So you can stop asking questions

Won't ever give my confession

I'll write it in music sessions

Where I feel I'm luminescent

And hope I could be a blessing

I thought all my scars would heal throughout time

But all these demons are still inside my mind

I'm broken down to my feelings down inside

And I hate that I still walk as if I am blind

I am blind

I have a bit of trauma I still need to get healed through

I know I said it's sealed, but it kept opening old wounds

I don't feel like talking cause I feel as if it's old news

I've been fighting for years with the same old stupid issues

And every single time my dad asks if I'm alright

Wanna look away to cry

Know he sees it in my eyes

But I keep it down inside

Being strong is what I try

I'm asking God who am I?

Cause I feel I live a lie

Cause I can't even trust the process

I feel I'm a piece of garbage

I just have to cut my losses

I don't ever want to call it

All my friends have looked and said it

I just keep on hitting dead ends

I continue losing close friends

I'm not boasting I'm just broken

No one knows I haven't spoken

I'm just bottling depression

I'll lead you the wrong direction

So you can stop asking questions

Won't ever give my confession

I'll write it in music sessions

Where I feel I'm luminescent

And hope I could be a blessing

I thought all my scars would heal throughout time

But all these demons are still inside my mind

I'm broken down to my feelings down inside

And I hate that I still walk as if I am blind