Are You Fucking Kidding Me? Lyrics

I set out sailin' on a sunny day

Aboard my ship with a load of grain to lay

But then those Sirens started singin' sweet

I'm like Are you fucking kidding me? I just want to eat!

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh what a mess!

All I'm tryin' to do is deliver some wheat I confess

But here come the monsters the gods and the sea

I'm just a poor sailor man set me free!

Next up a Kraken rises from the deep

Tentacles thrashin' man I can't get no sleep!

I shout to the heavens What did I do?

Are you fucking kidding me? I just wanted to brew!

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh what a mess!

All I'm tryin' to do is deliver some wheat I confess

But here come the monsters the gods and the sea

I'm just a poor sailor man set me free!

Now Poseidon shows up trident in hand

Says You're trespassin' on my sacred land

I bow and I grovel I plead on my knees

Are you fucking kidding me? Just let me by please!

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh what a mess!

All I'm tryin' to do is deliver some wheat I confess

But here come the monsters the gods and the sea

I'm just a poor sailor man set me free!

The crew starts whisperin' talkin' 'bout a mutiny

They say Captain you've lost it we're takin' over the sea

I'm pullin' my hair out I'm losin' my mind

Are you fucking kidding me? This grain better be refined!

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh what a mess!

All I'm tryin' to do is deliver some wheat I confess

But here come the monsters the gods and the sea

I'm just a poor sailor man set me free!

Just when I think it can't get any worse

Blackbeard's ship appears oh what a curse!

He boards my vessel with a sneer and a shout

I scream Are you fucking kidding me? I just want to get out!

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh what a mess!

All I'm tryin' to do is deliver some wheat I confess

But here come the monsters the gods and the sea

I'm just a poor sailor man set me free!

Now I'm finally dockin' the grain in the hold

After all that trouble it better be gold!

But as I open the hold its empty I groan

Are you fucking kidding me? I left it at home