Lessons in Summer Lyrics

It is the summer of my new body

I am kissing a boy

Whose hands make my blood bloom

Beneath the skin

He is gentle

So I am not afraid

When he plucks me up

Like ripe and ready fruit

It is the season of discovery

And we have spent many days like this

Lying in the field of our wanting

Mapping the landscape of skin with open palms

Some borders we promise not to cross

In class

My physics professor speaks

Past my empty seat.

She is teaching a lesson about gravity

That I already know from falling

Into the well of this boy's eyes

I should be there learning about force

The power of inertia

I should be listening to the tricky

Dynamics of two bodies when one is

Bigger and faster and stronger

Instead I am with the boy I love

Instead I am pressing both hands

Against the wall of his chest

I'm pleading quietly with my eyes

I forget to say no with my mouth

I'm busy trying to squeeze

The useless gates of my legs closed

Defiant tears roll down the cliff

Of my face, the little girl inside me

Falls to her death

He is giggling in my ear

Like he already knows the punch line

To a joke I will never tell

Years later,

Bent over the tub washing my hair

My fingernails scrape my scalp

And drag the memory out of my head

The dam breaches and pain pushes

Forward through the scar

Water everywhere till I am drenched in it

On the bathroom floor

Hair clumped and mad

And then I speak his name to my sister

Her voice lowers to a growl

I speak his name to my sister

Across the globe he begins to tremble

I speak his name to my sister

She lays a hand on my heart

I speak his name to my sister

And the wound breathes shut