Needed Lyrics

I've tried to do so many things

Be strong, be stern

Stand tall, stand firm

Tried to move plates heavier than the plate I have too many things on

Too much weight for me to bear, but the show must go on

Performing strength, I've heard "let a man be a man

Agility, what it means is dodging accountability as best as I can

Speed, running from the truth with all my might

Endurance, I expressed what I felt through fight or flight

Strength, Agility, Endurance, Speed

Peak athleticism for the olympics of what it means to be

A man, masculine, "just do it" rings a little too loud

Yet, whenever those boxes were checked, I felt so proud

Victorious! I just knew this is what a man was supposed to be

The vision of man, that's me y'all! That's me

But one day, something changed, the world spun in reverse

When it was show time, the performance was nothing like I rehearsed

Why doesn't it work? I did everything they told me to

I stopped crying, I stopped laughing

I did what I was supposed to do

I stopped being weak, I was told not to speak

I harmed them in the same ways that happened to me

So why is it not working? Why am I not a man yet

I dotted every "i", crossed every "t", I did everything correct

So what does this mean? Am I not man enough

Men, why won't you talk to me and tell me how do I man up

Why are you not talking to me? Why am I screaming

Why am I sweating and these tears keep streaming

Why don't you want me? Why don't you love me

Why does this haunt me? Why won't you hug me

Why don't you need me? I'll work twice as hard

Why won't you need me? What is this in my heart

Love, in the midst of my monologue

I realized that love held me in its massive arms

The braids of my life unraveled into strands

The world I knew crumbled and withered into sand

That waterfalled between my fingers, pooled in the palms of my hands

When I began to unlearn, I started to understand

That this is who I am, spirit from broken shell

I felt like...I was getting to the essence of my Self

Human. Before leaving my cocoon, I took some of it for protection

But soon, Love met me and brought with it a question

Love gently held my face, as only Love can

Admired my wings, then cupped the tops of my hands and asked

Beloved, why do you feel the need to be needed

Why do you feel the need to be needed