I Need To Throw Up Again Lyrics

I need to throw up again

Today I really wanna be perfect

Take off my dress and truly feel that I'm worth it

Sometimes I find I think I do it on purpose

Cause deep down I just know I deserve it

"I don't know what to do with myself…

… and I don't wanna feel anything"

(Yeah I know I deserve it)

"I can't stop looking at myself in the third person…

… lately, it feels like the walls have eyes"

When I was dying everything felt so worthless

But now I'm better think I might have preferred it

Why the fuck do I keep feeling nostalgic?

Honestly, I'm really tryna unlearn this

Twenty thousand rooms I could be in

Talking to my friends is just like talking to demons

Talking to myself is just like talking to my father

Rather make up some excuse to go the bathroom

Empty myself out because

I need to throw up again

You only see so much on the surface

Pick up my toothbrush and I start to get nervous

Sometimes I wanna peel my skin off and burn it

Flesh only looks good when it's thrown in a furnace

I'm in my bedroom but I kinda feel homesick

See my reflection in a pool of my own sick

Wanna look pretty when I die, I've rehearsed it

Something so pretty about rotting in public

Twenty thousand rooms I could be in

Talking to my friends is just like talking to demons

Talking to myself is just like talking to my father

Rather make up some excuse to go the bathroom

Empty myself out because

I need to throw up again

I tried to tell you but I'm glad no one heard it

They'll only help me if I cause a disturbance

Without the pain to make me pretty I'm dog shit

How could I tell myself I'm pretty without it?

Teeth rotting, Hair falling , Nails chipping,

Bones Jutting out, skin tearing, blood spilling

All the things I put myself through I still went through with

The internet knew I was dead before you did

I need to throw up again

I cannot take this anymore