Unwanted Souvenirs Lyrics

Growing up I was a scared kid

They called it entertainment

But they were too blind to see

I don't mean the films that were rated 18

The stuff billed for children

Still traumatises me

Scarred in my formative years

With irrational fears

And unwanted souvenirs

I cannot forgive

The executive

Who thought it was fine

To rate Poltergeist a PG

Back to the Future was a horror movie

When a car can appear out of nowhere

At 88 miles per hour

Leaving flames in the middle of the road

It's not even funny

When you're just learning your green cross code

How I cried when Artax died

You stupid horse move your backside

You totally could have survived

Sloth was a good guy just a victim of circumstance

But when I first saw The Goonies

He still made me poo my pants

Scarred in my formative years

With irrational fears

And unwanted souvenirs

I still leave the room

At the point where Judge Doom

Dips an innocent shoe

Just to show us that he can kill toons

Mary Whitehouse told us it would be alright

Despite what you may have seen

Nobody really died

But that didn't make it less disturbing

When the Skeksis drained the essence

Of that poor captive Gelfling

What the hell were Skeksis about?

Like a muppet turned inside out

Scarred in my formative years

With irrational fears

And unwanted souvenirs

Made me the man that I am

Adult life ain't so bad

But I thought there be more quicksand

I thought there'd be more quicksand

I'm slightly mistrustful of land

I thought there'd be more quicksand