MAX Lyrics

If I'm honest, for the longest, I've been upset with you

For everything you did and all the hell you put me through

What were you thinking? Did you think there would never be consequences for your actions?

Looking back, you were such a fool

I understand that you were nothing but a little kid

But still, I just can't wrap my head around some of the things you did

It took me years to get over the kind of pain that you inflicted on yourself

For what? Some of those memories still make me sick

Sometimes I wonder what was going through that mind of yours

Wish I could travel back in time and set you back on course

You discovered very young that when it rains, it pours

And everything that you'd experience would rock you to your core

There are parts of you that I can't stand to think of now

Maybe there's a reason we don't talk when others are around

Are we afraid of what they'd say if they knew everything that we did?

Or afraid if we let 'em in they'd let us down?

I hate how secretly selfish you were, you hid it well

Because of you I found it really hard to love myself

For the longest I doubted my faith and thought that hell was

Where I was headed, but thank God now I'm somewhere else

I hate the way that you acted like everything was good

You played the people and deceived 'em like you knew you could

You got to sit up on your pedestal, was it worth it?

If I could go back and make you different, you know I would

You were there like everybody else on Sunday morning

And the next day you'd be right back at it watching porn

I hope you know that your choices left a lot of scars

If I could ask you anything I'd ask what you did it for

But those are the questions I'm not be able to answer

And I'm not gonna let you live up here in my head forever

Way too long I carried all of your baggage on my shoulders

But now I'm letting go of you for good, the battle is over

I have struggled, I have fought

With the memories and the thoughts

Of my past, of the truth

Dark paths and broken views

That's what it been, that's what you caused

Nothing but sin, so many flaws

Almost lost myself because of you

So I'm letting you go

Now I'm someone new

I don't even know how to put what I'm thinking into words

And much less, try to fit it all into a verse

You were always stealing love, and stealing joy, and stealing peace from me

But more than that, you were causing hurt

You hurt my body with your greediness and selfish ways

You hurt my mental by telling me I would never change

You hurt my spirit by saying that God would never take me as I am

And saying I was someone He could never save

You were young and dumb but you were smart too

Hiding everything from everybody wasn't hard to do

Is there a reason that you always loved the nighttime?

Is it because deep down you were dark too?

Just like the web you would scroll on for hours

Watching things people only ever see in their dreams

And actually, you're probably the only one who had those type of dreams

'Cause normal people never watch those type of things

Max, I hate that version of you

You gave in to an addiction that took over your youth

I'm not just talking 'bout the videos or what you consumed

I'm talking all about the thing that led you far from the truth

I'm talking all about the gift you went on to abuse

You discovered it pretty young, and it left you confused

And no matter the time, you would do it every chance you got

Turned into something that you couldn't refuse

The truth is you caused nothing but pain

The truth is that I really hate hearing your name

'Cause every time I think about it, I go back to the place

When He was calling it daily but you were running away

So I'm letting go of you and giving "Max" a new meaning

I'm chasing after the Father, and this time I really mean it

I wanna be a light for the King, and I hope they can see it

There's a book called the Bible, and maybe you should go read it, Max

I have struggled, I have fought

With the memories and the thoughts

Of my past, of the truth

Dark paths and broken views

That's what it been, that's what you caused

Nothing but sin, so many flaws

Almost lost myself because of you

So I'm letting you go

Now I'm someone new