an epilogue: 12/22 Lyrics

A year out from the day

And it still feels like yesterday

That some part of me died

Upon that slab of steel

Cuz when you think that you can swim

You don't expect the tides to pull you in

Especially when you're wading

Into rivers ankle deep

Now I'm haunting my own body

A ghost miserable and lost

The spirit of that January

And of everything it cost

How I wish I could return

To claim the parts of me that burned

Oh, I was mean at times

But least that was a choice

Ambition's waiting by the door

Finally returning from the war

But she's been gone so long

We can't recall her voice

It's a gold rush fever

Panning for the simplest bits of joy

How I used to get things done

And honey, Lord help anyone

That stood between me

And the empires I made

Now when shit gets hard I walk

And I can't stand it when I start to talk

I hate it more than you

That I can't put it in a grave

How I wish I could return

To claim the parts of me that burned

Oh, I was mean at times

But least that was a choice

Ambition's waiting by the door

Finally returning from the war

But she's been gone so long

We can't recall her voice

It's a gold rush fever

Panning for the simplest bits of

Joy

Moving on's a luxury

They'll say I can afford

But with pockets starved of gold dust

Babe, just how can I be sure

If time heals every wound

But no one mourns the wicked dead

Then she'll be trapped forever

With each sorry tear she shed

Cuz Bodies they remember

What the mind tries to forget

Bodies they remember

What the heart saw as a threat

My body it remembers

What the mind tried to forget

My body still remembers

What my heart saw as a threat

Wish I could return

To claim the parts of me that burned

Oh, I was mean at times

But least I made a choice

Ambition's waiting by the door

Finally returning from the war

But she's been gone so long

We can't recall

Like, anything at this point

How I wish I could return

To claim the parts of me that burned

Oh, I was mean at times

But least I wasn't gone

Ambition's waiting by the door

Finally returning from the war

But she's been gone so long

We've learn to carry on

It's a gold rush fever

Panning for a reason to be strong

[Somehow it feels like this is only the beginning

But I guess that means I'm getting better, doesn't it?

With how much the body remembers

Healing is not linear

But we find a start in the end

And go from there]