Through My Eyes ft. Caiola Lyrics

Through my eyes

It ain't worth it

I'd take the time

But don't deserve it

I'm not the version of myself that you wanted me to be

And through my eyes

It's so hard to see you

Talking to yourself because you know I won't answer

I never have

There's nothing I can do to fix it

But change the past

And we both know that's impossible

So son please don't make me go

Don't me go

Another day

Another fake smile

Really wanna feel good

But its been awhile

It kinda feels like i'm all alone

On a desert isle

But it's fine

I'll pretend like it's okay

My mother's getting ill so I gotta stay

But i'm starting to get tired man

Next year i'm turning 48

Theres a lot of things I wanna fix

But is it too late

My kids and I don't have relationships

Did they turn the page

Because i'm seeing what he posts

And it's killing my brain

Another song about pain

Like did I do this to him

Am I the reason that he's broken and he's scared to trust friends

Am I the reason he feels hopeless and afraid to commit

I'm sorry i'm the reason that you can't let her in

I'm sorry that I hurt you

Made it hard to forgive

And i'm sorry I deserted you when you was a kid

All I ever really want is to be proud you exist

But i'm ashamed to be this person

Wish I never had kids

I mean I really wasn't ready for like any of this

I had a kid at nineteen

I was barely in this

Life, it's kind of crazy

But it is what it is

I mean I really should have grown up

And just chose to be a mother

But it's something I can't ever change

Kids i'm sorry I ain't ever change

But I loved you so much

I wish I could explain

But there isn't an excuse for any of the pain

I was struggling with life

I made ya'll the blame

Because it's so much easier to point out names

Than to take accountability for anything

I could say a bunch of sorries and pretend to change

But the truth is I deserve the pain

I'm trying to forgive me

Can you do the same

Through my eyes

It ain't worth it

I'd give you time

You'd have to earn it

I'm not the version of myself

That you wanted me to be

And through my eyes

It's so hard to see you

Talking to yourself

Because you know I wont answer

I never have

Theres nothing I can do to fix it

But change the past

We both know that's impossible

So mom please don't make me go

Don't make me go

Another day

Another fake smile

Really wanna feel good

But its been awhile

It kinda feels like i'm all alone

On a desert isle

But it's fine

I'll pretend like it's okay

My mother's getting ill

I don't wanna stay

But I know I'm way to young man

I don't that I should have this pain

There's a lot of things I wanna fix

But is it too late

Because I moved on from that relationship

I had to turn the page

And now I'm posting all these songs

I write about my pain

Like you did this to me

But what's the reason for it

Cause you're the reason that i'm broken and I'm scared to trust friends

And you're the reason I feel hopeless and afraid to commit

You hurt me so bad I can't let no one in

The fact you never fixed it

Makes it hard to forgive

Tell me why did you desert me I was only a kid

All I ever really wanted is for you to be proud

But i'm ashamed to be this person

Who don't want you around

I wish you never had me

Tell me what's the point of life if you ain't ever happy

And i'm sorry that you had me being only a kid

But this isn't what it should be, so forget what it is

I really wish that you had grown up

And just chose to be a mother

Least you taught me that

Some people they don't ever change

So I know that this will never change

But if you love us so much

Then why can't you just explain mom

I won't let you have excuses your the reason for the pain

If you struggled all your life then why didn't you just change huh

You should of took accountability and stopped pointing blame

Cause other people can't help you until you do the same

So you can keep all of your sorries

They don't mean anything

And I wish I could forgive you

But I ain't got the strength