I Wrote the Bible Lyrics

I think you have the wrong impression

Somewhere in me, there's a light

So when I chew diamonds, I shit rainbows

I wrote the bestseller of all time

You're not "supposed to" anything

And you don't get closer just by virtue of

Being opposed to everything

Baby, I'll see you in Vegas

Did you know I'm not your mommy?

And I'm not your punching bag

I wrote the Bible and you rolled your eyeballs at it

I don't need disciples, but I'll be coming back

And I'll be real pissed

I happen to like me

Why do I go around saying

That I'm this big fucking asshole?

I mean, then what would I call you?

When you assure me it's just a phase

I should've never made you my plus-one

To Corey Feldman's birthday party

I've made the wrong people famous

I am not your sugar daddy:

I don't pay you so you can fuck me

I wrote the Bible and you rolled your eyeballs at it

I don't need disciples, but I'll be coming back

And I'll be real pissed

I'm on the couch and coming down

And realizing how little we have in common now

If I'm gonna be happy instead of just distracted

I can never work in this town again

Everyone wants to discuss my book

They've clearly only read reviews

Sycophants - think if they can afford a ticket

I would want to hear their thoughts about God

And sure, it's all open to interpretation,

But I based Him on a Santa at the mall

Everyone deserves a chance

To cry on His lap and feel disappointed

And make their own joy

And buy their own toys

What do you think is going to happen

When you run out of people to blame?

I was thinking, what's the point?

If you can always go and lie?

If you can always change your answer?

But we lead by example

Fear is the mind-killer

Your father's hanging jaw

It's gonna fuck the girl you love

It's gonna leave you when you get cancer

Fear is the mind-killer

Your father's hanging jaw

It's gonna fuck the girl you love

It's gonna leave you when you get cancer