Christmas Rap 2023 Lyrics

The festive season might test your reason

But for me it's a chance to season like a cast iron pan

I'm the last iron man

God gave me heart like

I'm Alice in Christmas land

You can't understand this I'm speaking

Christmas language of courseses

I never stop cunting

I never stop hunting like

Horseses

You can't stand mass

The North Pole is my favourite land mass

'Tis the season for a Christmas treason

So I rode a horse like it was my friend

Down the road I took my steed

And round the bend I saw my friend

Jackson Bailey Davis

Named after a horse

Held my father's shotgun

Typically kept above the fireplace

He took it down from the fireplace

Used to hunt a horse

Seven generations ago

He died five generations ago

I count to fifty three

(One, two, three, four, f)

Y'all ever seen a film

A Christmas film

I ain't never seen a Christmas film with horses in it

I dismount and once again count

(One)

This isn't like a film with horses in it

This is a song with horses in it

Father told me to get my own place

I looked into Christmas towns

Found a place in Finland with some towns

The North Pole is not a land mass

It's Christmas time

Drink some wine (wine)

Don't you know it's time to shine

Rise and shine

Like morning time

Christmas presents in the morning time

Open them up

Good shit

Ho ho ho (Eeh)

Santa likes to go (Yeah)

Around to houses leaving presents yo (Ooh)

You better be good

Cause you never know (Yah)

If he'll eat you in your sleep oh no oh no (Hoo hoo hoo)

That would be unfortunate (Yo)

Not good at all (Ey)

I was told to write some bars so l'll lay em down (Ey)

Come take a trip with me to Christmas town (Okay)

There's snow and elves and snow and ice (Yah)

Ice on my wrist am I right? (Yeaaahhh)

Christmas is coming

Shoutout my boy Krampus

He brings me presents

He's better than Santa

Riding on Santa's sleigh

Pulled by reindeer not horses, okay

I'm not named after a horse, motherfucker

Just to reiterate on my point about the horses

Even if I was named after a horse

It would probably Rudolf

Because he's coolest of them all and yeah

(Rudolf is not a horseses)

We out here opening up our presents

While I'm embodied by the presence of the Lord

Jesus Christ

He's with me

He's my guy

Christmas Day open up my stockings

All I got was coal

That's a joke, I like

Fuck

I fucked it up

Let me start again (No)

Yes (This is all going in)

Fuck, w—okay

Let me just go straight from where I

Christmas Day open up my stockings

All I got was coal

That's okay, eat that shit

Put on more mass than the North Pole

CHRISTMAS DAY OPEN UP MY PRESENTS

ALL I GOT WAS COAL

THAT'S OKAY, EAT THAT SHIT

I GOT MORE MASS THAN THE NORTH POLE

Shoutout Christmas Music

I like hearing the sounds in my ears

Like the jingle and the sound of the sleigh in the sky

I don't mind when the Christmas guy comes by

Delivering me presents

That don't make me want to cry (Aw)

Horse (Ew)

Did you get the "I'm not a horse" bit? (Um, it's fine)

Oh, okay

Honestly, this is like the most ideal way of doing this

(Just keep going, I'm still recording)

(Yeah, just)

It's alright, B-roll is like

(Jackson, shut the fuck up)

(Augh)

I'm hanging from the branch of a tree

Got that Christmas drip hanging all over me

A bird starts pecking out my eye

But I don't care

I don't need my eyes to see Christmas time

Oh yeah

(Jackson Barley Jarvis)

Like from Iron Man?

(What are you?)

(What are you?)

(What are you?)

Okay, I've got another one

(What are you?)

(What are you?)

(What are you?)

Are we still going? (Yeah)

Fire

I'm gonna hang Santa from my wall with a noose

I'm gonna kill him and rap around his neck

That's all

Because I don't like Santa

Shoutout Krampus

Krampus for the win 2020

2K23

Love that shit

Krampus all my life

Krampus all my love

Krampus all my soul