I'll Never Be Happy ft. Sarah Gaygen Lyrics

Hey Zac, I wrote something. Can you play that one song again?

There's something I should tell you and

I don't know how to tell you and

It makes me feel so guilty

Watching you look so guilty

This on me, it's not about you

Well I guess, I mean that's not true

I don't want to be the one to take away

If this is our life then I shouldn't stay

I lock up when you try to lift me

I'm a chain and I want us to get free

I guess I'll never be happy

You know I'll never be happy

I don't know how to be happy

Why can't I ever be happy?

We're not normal, that's clear to see

I don't know how you even fell in love with me

I can't believe, it's been some years now

We've put up with me through it all somehow

But it's gotten worse, I've fallen down

I'm underwater and I think I'm gonna drown

Would you please just throw me aside?

I have a pain that I just can't hide

I'm a failure at everything I do

I really don't need to put that on you

I guess I'll never be happy

You know I'll never be happy

I don't know how to be happy

Why can't I ever be happy?

It can end here, you can walk away

I'll feel so much more worse if I stay

Zac please, I don't want to hurt you

The best way for that is to desert you

I don't want to cause you the pain

Please give me a chance to explain

I'm not in a slump. I've changed. I'm never gonna be the person I was when we first met. I haven't even streamed in the last six months. That energy is gone and I don't know where it went. Every time I think about it I just get anxious and I don't think I can go back. I feel like I was a different person then. It's just like my violin, my skills atrophied a little bit and I just turned to streaming instead, and then I met you. You had this big dumb smile on your face all the time. And I did too, things were working out for me and I had someone to cheer me on. We went on all these adventures together but the whole time I felt like something was wrong and I just stopped… I just gave up on so many things. I got tired. Being with you became a routine. Just like streaming. I lost the joy in the familiarity. But you kept the same energy, you even put in all this extra effort when I was down… but it only made me feel worse. Unconditional. I don't want that. I want something to live up to… and I don't know what that is any more… or where to find it. But I know what it means… I'm sorry

It means I'll never be happy

You know I'll never be happy

I don't know how to be happy

Why can't I ever be happy?

I know you'll outright deny it

I refuse don't even try it

I don't know how you can't see

This is the story of me

Thanks…