Meet Clarice Lyrics

Order up!

Coming!

Clarice, where the heck is Dahlia?

She better not be tardy again

I don't know, Mrs. Peters

I haven't seen her today

Oh, I tell ya, the nerve of that girl showing

Up late to work at my restaurant

Our restaurant!

Oh right

Our restaurant

Boy, you would not believe the traffic on my way here!

You're right

I wouldn't believe it because you walk to work

Yeah, but the wicked witch doesn't have to know that

Well, maybe she wouldn't be so wicked toward you

If you showed up on time for once

Good morning, Mrs. P!

Is that new mascara you're wearing?

How many times do I have to tell you

Not to call me Mrs. P?

See, I just think it has a nice ring to it and

You're tardy! Again!

That's the third time this week young lady!

But Mrs. P I'm only a few minutes late and I'm sure

I can make up the time at the end of the day or something

We don't have to count me as being tardy

I would count myself as tardy!

You can only have up to so many tardies before I fire

You and serve your head on a platter to my customers!

Well, it was worth a shot

I expect these tables to be spotless young lady!

You know you don't have to work here

You see, that would be true, except I've been

Fired from every other job I've had

Yeah, I wonder why

And I only have this job because my aunt is

Good friends with "Miss Pain in my Behind" back

Behind the counter

I think she's quite lovely

Well maybe if I had nice doe eyes

And perfect hair she'd like me too

Or, and I'm just throwing this out there, it's because I do my job

Oh, you missed a spot

Ew! That's gum! I ain't touchin' that

I rest my case

Speaking of which, how's your perfect little life going?

Getting much traffic at the nightclub?

Nah, not really

I get the occasional praise from that

One guy that always sits in the back

Ooo, is he cute?

Well

He's homeless…And forty…And only shows up because

He picks the leftovers out of the trash

Cheer up! At least you're getting yourself out there

I'm sure you'll blow up anytime now

And if I don't?

Come on, Clarice

You're not seriously telling me you'd be

Okay with working at the

Diner for the rest of your life?

I mean, I've considered it

I enjoy being around people, and

Maybe being a singer is just a side gig

But it can't be!

Do you know what I'd do

If I had your voice? Your talent?

You're practically perfect

Woah, woah, woah

Who said anything about being perfect?

I mean, it's quite obvious

You've got the whole package

You're smart, pretty, talented, anyone in

Their right mind would wanna be you

You just need a little push

Why's that?

Because if you made it big your life would truly be perfect

I'd hate to see you give that up

I moved to New York City straight out of high school

I thought that I had the perfect dream and

That my cards were just right

I left my whole family behind to live in a

200 square foot box in Manhattan

It was a different time

Though I still have a hope deep down that

I'll make it in the music world

I have to be realistic