The Two-Body Problem Lyrics

Let's start this operation like we're in math class

But we'll do it backwards, a reverse PEMDAS

Add some attraction, subtract our clothes

Divide your legs, and multiply our pheromones

I'll take you on an exponential cosmic ride

And we'll make these parentheticals the new sixty-nine

I'm an integral lying tangent to your curves

Let's do these exercises, it's what you deserve

Two body problem!

Makin' love in outer space!

It's the two-body problem!

Following nature's laws and Kepler's too

You've got me fired up, I wanna give it to you

The two-body problem!

Let switch gears and talk chemistry

You plus me is balanced stoichiometry

I'll pump your body full of dopamine

Have you screaming for my touch like a serotonin fiend

Forming more bonds than a carbon chain

Got more chemical potential than the highest octane

Like hypergolic fuel, you'll explode from my contact

So get strapped in and prepare for impact

Two body problem!

Doin' the nasty in outer space!

It's the two-body problem!

Up against the copula, we'll take in the view

My rocket's getting ready, gonna launch it at you

It's the two-body problem!

Let's change our orbit to a physics class

I'll accelerate some force through your center of mass

Turning our potential to kinetic energy

Feeling the friction from viscosity

I'll use my unit vector to fill your null void

Make your head spin like a Newton cycloid

Your body and our variables are well-defined

So I'll do percussive maintenance on you from behind

Two body problem!

Taking care of our bones in outer space

It's the two-body problem!

Studying the curves of your anatomy

Our intertwining limbs will weave a tapestry

It's the two-body problem!

No, you're not getting hit with GCRs

But your body pulsing heavy like a mega-quasar

Now I'm feeling like a modern Casanova

Hope you're ready when you make me go supernova

Want to add another and break the mold?

Then we'll solve this new problem with manifolds

Turns out we can do it analytically

One plus one plus another makes three

Three body problem!

Menage-a-trois in outer space!

It's the three-body problem!

Solving our logistics problems big and small

They say that three's a crowd, I'm gonna give it to y'all

It's the three-body problem!

Three body problem!

Makin' love in outer space!

It's the three-body problem!

Following nature's laws and Kepler's too

You've got me fired up, I wanna give it to you

It's the three-body problem!