Fussy Eater Lyrics

Hello I'm a werewolf

Didn't mean to scare you

It's just I'm having trouble finding

Someone to prepare food

Fit for a furry fellow feeling fairly fussy

Coz many edibles make my delicate belly puffy

I've been to the doctor but lost at the start

Coz he tried to prescribe me a silver bullet to the heart

That's the last time I go private... I'm annoyed

Coz I can't attack a snack that I can actually enjoy

I don't eat humans

I don't eat cats

I don't eat this and I won't eat that

I don't eat anything that isn't fair trade

Hand made, with egg free mayonnaise

I will drink bat milk if it's made from peas

I'll eat the body of christ if it's gluten free

I like oatcake mimosas, a cheeky blend

But I won't eat soya coz of the oestrogen

I don't feel great, my tummy aches

It's been a long time since I last ate

I've got specific dietary needs

I don't eat meat, respectfully

Do you know if this was produced ethically

I'm worried I might die before I eat

But when I am a human, I eat what I like

Make it dripping with grease please, and pile it high

Big mac, mac n cheese,

Double big king

In a KFC bucket with an albatross wing

Raw slabs of beef, it's a meat sensation

I like it better if it leads to deforestation

I eat crustaceans if they're dripping with cheese

I drink palm oil pepsi, I hate chimpanzees

I like stacks of chicks fried alive and dipped

In mayonnaise from their unborn brother and sister

I'm mister fancy when I eat giraffe

I eat protected species but just for a laugh

I climb into the carcass to eat my spuds

And wash it down with a nice fresh pint of blood

I feel gassy, fetch me a pasty

I eat what I like and I like it nasty

But my body is a temple

I treat it with respect

And respect the life of everything that hasn't died yet

I'd only eat fruit that's fallen from its own weight

If I wasn't so concerned about the sugar intake

I eat field mushrooms that are foraged by a mouse

That's allowed to live with all its friends inside an eco house

And it's been a fair while since I've had an avocado

Coz of air miles

I don't feel great, my tummy aches

It's been a long time since I last ate

I've got specific dietary needs

I don't eat meat, respectfully

Do you know if this was produced ethically

I'm worried I might die before I eat

Get a squid and shove it up a duck

Deep fry it and chuck it in a vat of kebab meat and bring it to me NOW!

And get me a napkin, I'm not an animal.