Ghost of Christmas Puke Past Lyrics

Strip the sacred and profane

Get a whiff of the tree

A whiff of me

A kiss for free under the ivy

Mistletoe me up

Fill my eggnog with cup

Reindeer for days and presents I'm amazed

I'm a naughty boy

I trip old ladies

I'm a coal man and I have a plan

It involves a sketchy surprise

A midwife in a stocking

Have my very own Christmas

I'm stuffing and stuffing

Christmas and croffing

Wrap up the night

With a sexually aroused elf

He's got a nice tan

What more do you need?

I'm so green

I got money to spend on gifts

My presence is my presents

My gift is my crotch

It gives me stupendous information for all the needy orphans

Give me some bread

A gingerbread maze

Good for me and good for you

On the radio is repetitive

My beard is long, Movember was great

The chalice of wine

The blood of the savour

All I see is gnomes

Elves will be in the past

And no more elves

We only want gnomes

We're trying to replace elves with gnomes

They used to be on the lawn

But now they're up north

That's the entire premise

Replace the elves with gnomes

Elves need to go

They are the past

And now they will meet their maker

No good elf goes unpunished