Battles With Anxiety Lyrics

Welcome to my battles with anxiety

Some battles that get bigger now

Battles that i live with

And some battles i can't live without

Battles that are stand up

And some battles that's gon sit me down

Battles that i understand

And battles i can't figure out

Battles with my sleep patterns

Since i barely sleep at night

Battles with my appetite

Since i'm barely eating right

Battle with this life

When i barely see the reasons why

Battles with my demons

When i'm lonely and i keep em by

Battle with some choices

Of having to make some choices

Battles with keeping it quiet

Or me making noises

Battle with using my voice

As a voice for the voiceless

Battles of me trying to

Hate this shit or enjoy it

Battles of if these new morals

Should probably bend a bit

Battles of embracing my pain

For my own benefit

Battles of my love

Should i stop trying to rekindle it

Battles with forgetting them

Or me tryna remember em ahh

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

The pills got me thinking

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

These thoughts got me stinking

And i hold it in cause it hurts

It don't make sense for what's it worth

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

The pills got me thinking

Back to fake smiling

Back to fake happiness

Back to cover how i

Feel with some flashiness

Jewelry on expensive just to

Cover what i'm lacking in

My confidence is low feel like

Being happy's a accident

Or maybe it's cause life never

Went the way i imagined it

I never was the kid with

Good grades or straight A's

College dropout and in my mind

That's the last of it

The money i make i don't think

I deserve half of it

Why am i blessed

When i question my faith

Or feel like giving up in life

When things don't go my way

Or maybe i find new pleasures

When i'm going through pain

Or feeling younger in ways

While getting older in age

I feel i never deserve the love

That she might bring

Cause i can't love her how she

Love me and it might sting

Me thinking we have an us

And well that's unlikely

Every girl that cheat on me or

Leave me did the right thing ahh

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

The pills got me thinking

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

These thoughts got me stinking

And i hold it in cause it hurts

It don't make sense for what's it worth

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

The pills got me thinking

All the money in this world

Ain't good enough

The highest love with my girl

Ain't good enough

The newest home newest car

Higher credit healthy food

Church service none of that

Is even good enough

God's love my mom's love

Wasn't good enough

Family time family fun

Wasn't good enough

Doing things to feel young

Wasn't good enough

Shutting it off and running

Wasn't good enough

Me getting good sleep

Wasn't good enough

Me having great dreams

Wasn't good enough

Me loving what i see

Wasn't good enough

Since me looking at me

Wasn't good enough

And being who i wanna be

Wasn't good enough

And the bible's that i read

Wasn't good enough

I'm thinking having me a seed

Won't be good enough

A version of little me

Won't be good enough nah

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

The pills got me thinking

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

These thoughts got me stinking

And i hold it in cause it hurts

It don't make sense for what's it worth

Suicidal suicidal suicidal

The pills got me thinking

This how my anxiety sound Pin it down

Quiet down and you could hear it loud

Bunch of bells bunch of noises

Bunch of distorted voices in my head

And i can't focus you would think

That i enjoy it

When i'm out here and annoyed with

What i see i think it's poison

And i barely see the reasons

When i think my life is pointless

And my purpose disappear from me on purpose

That's the verdict

When i'm less encouraged

And 'im less determined

Less deserving

So i never see the better way

It's all a dream i never chase

If i told my moms my problems

She gon say you better pray

So you don't look like better prey

To demons that you reaching

And you seeking when you speak

It's so convenient get your head on straight

Why i'm thinking that nothing is enough huhh

Why i'm looking at my wrists

And want some cuts huhh

Why i wanna slide that knife in my throat

But never go through with it

Cause i don't got the guts huhhh

So tell me what this is posed to be like

Headache pills on my dresser giving me life

I'm smiling hiding everything it seems like

They would think i'm too strong

To be this weak right

God don't slide to the left

Hope he keep right

But i barely ate

And i don't sleep right

I gotta question if this is just a phase

Or i'm addicted to the pain

Cause i know i'm who to blame

Cause i know i ain't the same

And i like it cause it's strange

Separation from another person

This is how i'm made

Or is this what i became

My anxiety my case

Shadows on the wall

My best friends when people run away

And they should hide for cover

Since they knowing i ain't safe

Put herself in harm's way

If i'm the one she wanna date

It's a chance she'll lose the game

If i'm the one she wanna play

It's a chance she'll pay the price

More than she's willing to save look

I guess i'm trauma bonding

With this new identity

But what that mean when

Everything good is my enemy

Overdose pills to sleep

Headshot Kennedy

Lord forgive me

I don't even care if they remember me

While i'd gladly turn myself to a memory

I put the shots to myself if they trigger me

People love me so this exit gon be bittersweet

I gave them all the signs

So is it them or me

No lie this pain is real like that

Gotta have a numb heart

To make it feel like that

Gotta burn the bridge

That you helped build like that

So i pop another pill

And i be right back ughh