The Tragedy of Old Bowling Dallas Lyrics

Now Dallas

Saw his mother old

He said mama

I'm gonna help you with your toll

So he went up to his papa

Who'd sold his own soul

To make ends meet

For his two halves of the world

Pop I'm gonna help you

Let the good times roll

Then he went off to the city

With nothing but a foal

I'm gonna save this family

I'm gonna learn how to bowl

Now Dallas was a natural

With a mighty strong hand

He came upon an agent

Who'd give him

Riches and gold

Across the land

(So Dallas shook the man's hand and said "You're one mighty business partner, I think I'd like to take you on as my associate." Then he shook his hand again and signed the Contract, and this is how his life went from there. But it ain't gonna get prettier, I can tell You that much. Chapter 2)

Now Dallas

Could play where he wanna

But he hadn't forgotten about his mama

And his papa

And the farm

So he said

(What'd he say again? It gets harder to remember every day. Don't remember what Dallas said there, it slips my mind y'know.)

Let's go down

Let's go down

Let's go down

Let's go down

So he said

What's the harm

So him and the man had went

To the city of charm

Where he could do what he wanna

So Dallas said

What's the harm

If I should

Take some

Marijuana

(You hear that)

When it came to winning

Dallas was an animal

He'd do it for money

He received quite a few enema

He'd won tourneys and fairs and girls and chairs

And he looked himself right in the eyes

"I'm not where I'm supposed to be"

Set me free

To the ranch

To my country

(*Dallas is turned into a robot*)

Let me go

Let me be

Let me try

Let me see

Oh Dallas took

Dallas took some

LSD

Now you seem like a nice fellow

He said to his ma and pa

Turned shame-clad yellow

And they shook their heads and walked off instead

And said

Let him be

Let him be

They shouldn't have let him be

So Dallas walked along the alley

Never once did he turn back

Till he took a step and broke his neck

On a Tamagotchi

And that my friends is the tragedy

Of a dear old man that I once knew

That I once knew

Named Old Bowling Dallas

Dallas