About my Spouse

When I'm at a gun-show she's blowing up my cell phone

I hid the receipts, all my purchases are well known

Annoyance in her voice leaking into my headphones

When my wife says Go Home I respond with a Hell No

Hypocritical when she shopping at Walmart, Marshall's then Target Oriental markets

Getting home at dark Yeah I can hear her van arrive when she parked it

Then our two dogs barking

I smell fried chicken dark meat (Bojangles)

My son left a lot of crumbs in his car seat

Prescription medication is messing with my heartbeat

But If I'm drunk and drowsy I won't drive, you can have my car keys

I remember in college, when I took my ASVAB with the Army