Winter Monologue

I wake up at 4 in the afternoon on most January days

Just early enough to catch the last hour of sunlight out of the sky

I didn't even stay up that late this time

But with seasonal depression knitting my eyelashes together with anxiety shaped needles

Now I need a minimum of 12 hours of sleep

Or a least 12 hours of me lying there pretending to

My mornings only exists at 3 a.m. under an umbrella of stars

I can hardly see due to the light pollution

Regardless, I will stay up for hours listening to spoken word poetry and music that makes me cry

Cause at least feeling the loneliest heartbreak is feeling something