Trauma Lyrics

Trauma

What I wouldn't give to go back to that missionary

And ask the Bishop that name me

After my mother had carried me for eight months

Did you know that I would ever need like eight blunts

Just to cope with things

That it seems I could never escape from

Traumatize from seeing that pain and suffering in my mothers eyes

Bout shit that happen in her past life

Before she had mines

And boy we had times me and my sisters and mother

Playing music watching movies it was our past time

We all got different dads and mines was no where to be found

And yet my older sister dad would always come around

He tried his best to treat us all like one of his own

Didn't change the fact that in the crowd I still felt alone

My mother didn't believe in name brand shoes at home

She like I have no money for Jordans just cut them lights on

And kids showed no mercy they said my shirt look thirsty

From all that time it got dried after using detergent

Like on and on and over and over

It just keeps replaying in my mind

And though its been so long ago

It just keeps on haunting me

And it would seems like my moms husband

Was tryna turn me into david ruffin'

Beat me every chance he could get and I couldn't do nothing

Bruises whips and scars that I would try to hide from my friends

Shy and timid didn't like to talk so I would hide within

Or with my big sister cause we was on the same page

From all of that shit that just kept fucking with our mainframe

I found rapping and it just took me to another plain

And every since then I ain't never really been the same

I felt a higher power way to express it without feeling coward

Didn't destroy a life how you destroyed ours

Ain't kill myself and I'm so proud of that

And yeah got on drugs but I bounced back

And if that ain't god then what you call that

I thank you for my past because it taught me math

Like if it don't add up then don't feed no energy back

It's your car get behind wheel don't sit in the back

Nah don't settle for that

You In control

Like on and on and over and over

It just keeps replaying in my mind

And though it's been so long ago

It just keeps on haunting me