Hey, investment banker

Can you spare me a couple grand as a tip?

Hey, entertainer

Can we form a parasocial relationship?

Cause I'm just a stupid kid alone

That likes to sing shitty songs

I dream of having fame and fortune

But I know it won't come before the day I'm gone

Hey, senator

Can you change the legislation and get me off?

Hey, minister

Can you spread the word to make me believe in God?

Cause I'm just a nihilistic little shit

With no moral compass

I dream of being intellectual

But all of my friends just think I'm pompous

I'm just another ignorant burnout

With no motivation

Living on impulse, giving in

To the least bit of temptation

Stumbling over all my words

And making critical mistakes

I really just wanna get my head on straight

So maybe one day, I could reverse my fate

I could reverse my fate

Hey, Dead Letterman

Can you shut your fucking mouth and end this song?