TELEVISED SUICIDE Lyrics

I saw my homie lose her soul for a fixing

Oblivious to all the pain she inflicting

I told her watch it you don't know what they mixing

I should've known there ain't no point in convincing, she ain't listen

I watched my uncle lose his life for a fixing, now I'm conflicted

Cause that image stuck with me for a minute and she don't get it

Watched his body grow cold

Felt the time moving slow

We end the night back on the road we get the call that he gone

You ain't got shit to lose

You got the whole world to gain

I'm out here pleading in vain, while you're still stuck in your ways

Remember days we used to kick it where my sister would stay

And then you started moving different, shit ain't looking the same

I asked my sister what changed

She told me thai she in pain

But how the fuck she complain?

You know she whipping a range

I know some bitches out here stressing how they bills going to get paid

Mothers turn to pimping they kids to put a cent to they name

Like what you know about a struggle

You out here drowning in puddles

I stood knee deep in that water recount that shit with no trouble

And bitch I'm done being subtle, my legs was weak they ain't buckle

Your state of mind keep me puzzled

With all these problems I juggle I know my vision got tunneled

I was doing it wrong

She like blood to me but she hadn't felt loved in so long

I went back on my word

Family won't ever leave you feel deferred

Fuck all them outsiders, fuck what u heard

If they stepping to you I put them in the dirt

Lay them to rest

Know she got feelings she never expressed

Selfish perspective it's hard to digest

Tried to be present ain't doing my best

Guilt feeling heavy got weight on my chest

Pain in my past that I hadn't addressed

Life moving forward and I ain't progressed

Consumed by the pride that I always possessed

My mental distressed

Why I hurt

At my worst

Lord forgive me cuz I couldn't see her worth

Feeling cursed

On this earth

Why the purest people gotta die of thirst

Called her phone

Leave your message at the tone

Sis' told me just leave it lone

Man we treated that girl like she one of our own

But our Care was too late we could tell that she gone

I feel like we failed you, minute we fell through

Took a backseat living life in your rear view

Felt like I couldn't make a difference

This the final act there ain't no fucking intermission

She in the cycle it's a family tradition

Failure, repetition

Fiending for a fixing

Blind addiction, couldn't resist

We grieve over all of the life that you missed

How the fuck I'm supposed to breathe when you ain't here

All the life you had to live this shit ain't fair

I know I never showed it but I always cared

Now I'm sending prayers that I'll met you there

On them golden stairs while the trumpets blare

With our sins repaired, free of despair

Make our souls richer, paint a perfect picture

Swear I'd end my life if I could live it with you

Let me let y'all know something

Though these may be my last moments here

As the night continues draws near

Understand that the end only yields the pursuit of new beginnings

Televised suicide

It's beautiful ain't it