Family Friend Lyrics

Bucky rubs her buckeyes

Didn't realize it was after midnight

Cigarettes and Diet Pepsis

Red wine and nineties comedies

House is mostly clean

And otherwise unoccupied

Up the steps is the bedroom

Right across from the playroom

Puzzles missing half their pieces

Good enough for kids' caprices

Count to fifty 'cause you're younger than me

And don't you freaking peek

Bucky was a family friend

A frequent host to our contentment

Me and Brother sitting in the den

While parents shout about the 43rd president

Little Sister is out cold on the couch again

Caught on cobwebs in your shed

I thought of seeing friends but did your yard work instead

For five bucks an hour and unlimited Fresca

Holy cow it's hot, I sure could use a Fresca

These afternoons are deadly humid

Why else would you hire a kid?

I trip on piles of twigs

And other things that have died

Inside your cloud of supposing

Mourning that happens at night

I must've thought if I could make you laugh

I could save myself from hating myself

I bore myself out of your gaze

I made a personality to fit your praise

I stayed up late on school nights

Vainly hoping you'd remain

Cancer came back with a culture grip

I had just returned from Philly with an internship

They'd moved your bed into the dining room

Off the sun room that you never used

And I knew I couldn't really feel confused

But I couldn't make it real

Mom and Dad drove out to Colorado

Given circumstances that foreshadow

I was playing Death in a school production

Of an Appalachian adaptation

Of a cherished early work by Ibsen

The writing was on the wall

I guess it's not a surprise

Easy to characterize

Nothing some doctor and I

Can't intellectualize

In case that anyone tries

To pry a tear from my eye

I got this pretty disguise

Nobody's business but mine

The way I pray for a sign

For everything to align

A light to read every word by

A kind of silent reply

For when the truth doesn't satisfy

I need an endless supply

Someone to live in my life

What if I learned nothing

Measuring the silence

Holding onto blue

Holding onto you

Stuck below the surface

A swimming pool of shit

I thought that I could drain it

But I couldn't even contain it

The rain rolled in and made a big old mess

There's nothing I can't swallow

If given enough drink

There's no one I won't follow

If it means I don't have to think anymore

I'll close the door on closure

Cover every mirror

Disappear what might've been

Disappear what was