Dial-Up Deals Lyrics

Hey, hey friend

You've got quite the funny brand

Let me lend you a costly hand

I'm your friendly garbage salesman

Hey, hey kid

I've got sales you can't ignore

Subscribe to get a little more

When you step inside my deals store

Here's some fun facts

I used to be the biggest guy in town

Number one

All around

Salesman

Signed a contract

One phone call later had the sales hot

All it bought

Jackpot

A big shot

But when your life has gone down the drain

And you feel ashamed

My hyperlink remains

Blocked

How, how can you be

A big shot like me

Just find me the key

One time only deal

And speaking of you

It's your big début

That heart looks brand new

Let's put it to use

Now let's blow your mind

This contract was signed

The print's pretty fine

That heart will be mine

Now you must agree

To what I foresee

It's my guarantee

In heaven I'm free

So turn up the dial-up

Flip up the screen

You shouldn't believe what you see on tv

This funky little worm will be the death of me

So make yourself a deal and don't forget your warranty

Here's an easy game for your friends to play

Why not come on back into the alleyway

Interest in business so you've got to say

You'd throw your whole life away

You want it, you need it

You have it, you've seen it

Just sign here, don't read it

It's just some boring terms of service

Finally, we got this show on the road

Hop inside my new cungadero

Ride around, to the basement we'll go

Kris you know, I couldn't do this alone

Wow I'm feeling good

Aren't you feeling great

Heaven's here to watch you as your friends disintegrate

Nothing's left to stop me as I take on this state

Oh wait

Kris you little ingrate

How, how can you be

A big shot like me

You found me the key

Kris we had a deal

It's all overdue

That sweet revenue

You know what to do

This call is for you

I'll throw you a bone

And all that I own

I'll cut you a loan

Just hang up the phone

How could you say no

It's all that you owe

We're friends don't you know

To heaven we'll go

So turn up the dial-up

Flip up the screen

You shouldn't believe what you see on tv

This funky little worm will be the death of me

So make yourself a deal and don't forget your warranty

Turn up the dial-up

Flip up the screen

We don't need the easels or the CRTs

This funky little worm was the death of me

So cut the final strings and I will finally be free