Hero's Welcome (from Non-Player Character Workshop Musical Cast Recording) Lyrics

Well, hello there. Eyes up here, Boston

Welcome to my game! Of course, I'm the hero of this story

And it's your job to navigate me through the levels

Kill the monster and let me take all the glory

In the meantime - wait

Are you still stuck on the Menu Screen?

You have start it you want to do literally anything

Just reach out with your controller and use your trigger finger to click or grab objects

What a noob! What are you laughing at?

Up in the cheap seats?

Who comes to an interactive show and chooses the Spectator ticket?

Anyway,the most important thing to remember tonight is

You can control the adventure

All you have to do is enter

And it a Musical

Now we're all going to die

No matter what we try

It's how the game was designed

And we're all going to die

Obsessed with keeping score

Don't ask what we're playing for

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred hours

An easy escape you don't have to feel

Solve all the problems that aren't even real

We'll give you credits instead of a skill

But it's all futile we're all going to die

Some follow the rules some quest on the side

Most of the time we're only running to hide

I don't ask much, just give me one of your lives

And we're all going to die

Okay, now for a little Tutorial that nobody asked for

There'll be a series of interactive puzzles throughout the game

So let's use our left joystick to move my avatar through the space

Ya know, we'll work on that

Let's use the right joystick to turn and look around

Or you can just turn your face, like a person

Don't worry, everybody's first time is a little rocky (Get it?)

Oh, tough crowd. Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out

Me awesome, smoke monster bad

(Hi there!)

Oh, that's an NPC. Don't worry, they follow me around everywhere

Make you read these screens, boring

Where was I? Oh, right!

You can control the adventure

Leave the world behind and surrender

Everybody!

Now we're all going to die

I'm fighting off the bad guy

And we're singing along

An unskippable, cut scene song

Conquering a new domain but it all feels the same

It is all derivative, everything sucks and then we all die

Get off the sideline, the ball's in your court

Since when did play become a spectator sport

I'm blaming all of you, you're coming up short

Now I'm going to die

We're told our purpose is controlling a zone

In a hell scape that we can't win alone

Finally a Musical that uses your phone

And I'm going to die