By the Castle Lyrics

I was lounging in a lawn chair by the dusty road

Twelve feet from the castle, two feet from the moat

The drawbridge wasn't open, I heard the princess cry

She was sitting in her chamber, waiting for her guy

She was sitting in her chamber, waiting for her guy

I was having a cold beer there by the dusty road

Twelve feet from the castle, two feet from the moat

Sometimes I'd hear piranhas splish and splash

They were swimming in the water, hungry for human flesh

They were swimming in the water, hungry for human flesh

It was a few hours later: a rider on the road

He was coming to the castle, wanted to cross the moat

The drawbridge wasn't open, we heard the princess cry

I asked him who she cried for, he said he was the guy

This knight in shining armor said he was the guy

The rider had a long rope, the rope a metal hook

It went over the castle walls, he pulled it tight, it took

And then he starting climbing across hand over hand

Too bad he was too heavy, the rope snapped and he went

Down into the water, met his untimely end

I settled back in my chair on the dusty road

The water was in turmoil down there in the moat

The guy was being eaten, I heard the princess cry

A life needlessly taken, guess he was not the guy

A life needlessly taken, guess he was not the guy

But then I saw a glimmer over on the far side

Could this be shiny armor, could this be the knight?

His suit was made of metal, that no fish tooth can slice

He went into the castle to claim his royal prize

He went into the castle to claim his royal prize

I saw them through the window, a couple nice and blessed

He stepped out of his armor, she stepped out of her dress

Later when he was snoring I heard a splish and splash

She'd thrown his shiny armor into the moat like trash

She'd thrown his shiny amour into the moat like trash

And in the months that followed often I saw him stand

Alone atop the battlements with his head in his hands

With love but without armor she had him well confined

And opening the drawbridge never crossed his mind

Opening the drawbridge never crossed his mind