SPEAKING FROM THE GRAVE (Piano Version) Lyrics

This shit is therapeutic

I'm feeling suicidal but I'll never do it

I'm feeling low enough that this could bring me to it

My life is fucking ruined, yeah

And it's wasted, I could sit here for ages

writing pages and pages, man I tried to embrace it

But I'm starting to hate this, feeling feelings of hatred

Got nobody to stay with, I can't pick up my payslip

Cause I can't find a day shift

Don't know how to survive, I got this pain in my eyes

I can't sleep through the night, my temper's starting to bite and

Now I'm fussing and fighting and my mama gets frightened

When emotions are heightened

Feel like taking my life

It's being eaten by demons

I'll be going to hell but I been praying for Jesus

If I am deceased then they must pick up the pieces

Know it won't cure the pain, it will just spread like diseases

Give my family a kiss goodbye

But they don't know I'm bout to disappear

And I don't know who's gonna miss me here

Only thing that's crystal clear

I'm overriding my initial fears

Just hope somebody's there to wipe my sister's tears

I think she'll cry the most

It's eye opening seeing all these lives erode

But I only feel alive when my eyes are closed

I got depression, just too depressed to get diagnosed

I know that you needed me to stay

But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain

I wish that I could ease all of your pain

But now here I am speaking from the grave

I know that you needed me to stay

But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain

I wish that I could ease all of your pain

But now here I am speaking from the grave

I wish I had my life back

Wish I coulda got myself on the right track

I had a mountain to climb and now I'd climb that

If only I had the time but can't rewind that

I guess I was too scared to speak out

Suffering in silence was killing me deep down

All I could think every time my heart beat loud was 'how can they be proud'?

So I went up to the cliff

And I wish I didn't jump off it

You searched for your son but you just lost him

I really wish that I showed you my love often

But if blood equals pain then I was blood clotting

I passed on the pain; this isn't what I wanted

Washed up on the beach and I was unresponsive

I honestly wish that I was not dishonest

And I'm sorry to you all that I broke my promise

I know that you needed me to stay

But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain

I wish that I could ease all of your pain

But now here I am speaking from the grave

I know that you needed me to stay

But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain

I wish that I could ease all of your pain

But now here I am speaking from the grave

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah

I wish that I could ease all of your pain

But now here I am speaking from the grave

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah

I wish that I could ease all of your pain

I felt worthless trapped on earth with purpose lacking,

Always curved advances, they deserved the chances

I was hurt and stranded, so disturbed and tragic

Nerve racking, I was always concerned and panicked

Was deterred and vanished

And the worst thing happened

there's no turning back I

can't reverse my actions

re-emerge like magic

I submerged the sadness

And reserved my casket

Can't reverse this damage

I used to say 'kill me now'

Cause I was fighting myself and I was filled with doubt

I was only looking for a quick way out

But I was somebody that someone couldn't live without

Ay, I used to say 'kill me now'

Cause I was fighting myself and I was filled with doubt

I was only looking for a quick way out

But I was somebody that someone couldn't live without