Ready for Love Lyrics

I asked the universe why it would do this thing to me

It said, "I'm mostly empty space and not a sentient being

But if you must know certain truths, there is some scheming above

And I shouldn't say who would test you, but it's not who you're thinking of

Why would a loving god do hateful things and take your joy away

To prove a point about benevolence (to a rival, by the way)

No, Yahweh did not wager you in a losing bet by-gum-ah

That's not who wants to know if you're tough enough to withstand such melodrama

You see, the only prophet who ever nailed it, hit her on the head

Was the crazed monk Simeon O' Bummer, on an asylum floor, he etched her

As a nineteen foot tall raven goddess with eighteen breasts and seven tongues

This is the deity who wants to see if you're ready for love

So when you kneel to say your prayers at night, think of old Gar-bu-vis-neit

And her fire breath of sulfur, and her soul-devouring need

To fire off her Cupid's arrow to deserving worshipers

She's got her black hole void cyclops eye on you so you'd best her desires heed

'Cause there's a lake of fire beneath this world you traipse so casually

And it's not the devil you know you got to worry about, it's Simeon's Gar-bu-vis-neit

So when some pretty little flower comes to broaden your heart's horizons

Just take care 'cause you've been prepared by your life's fate-filled tribulations

To carry the load of one more with yours and not let each other down

Or another way to play it

Is to simply life free

And behave as though anyone you know

Might be so great and see"