Imposter Syndrome Lyrics

How can I ever be at peace

When I do everything but fucking sleep

I never cease to feel this pain

And you'd do anything to make me hate

I don't want to forgive you

I just want to forget

I want to conquer life knowing

That I gave all I had to give

Consistent failure

While composing my eulogy

May these words be the monologue I need to move forward

This is an open letter to the life that I used to know

This is my final calling

You've caused these scars I refuse to show

I bent out of shape

Forced myself in place

While wearing that smile you love me to fake

I'm broken and empty

This storm is unending

I hate everything around me

God if you hear me

Pull me out of disparity

I'm in need of saving

I couldn't catch a break so I

Broke myself

Mother can you save me

I need you here by my side

Your son is falling apart at the seams and I'm not sure I can mend this time

Father, I know I've failed

I tried to make things right

But in your eyes

I've already lost my fight

There is darkness in between the light

There is nothing here for me

My panic blinds my eyes

All the fences that I swing for end up swinging me from them

My words create the gallows

But the noose was in my head

I'm sick of living a lie and I know that I'm far from fine

But how can I be okay when you constantly abandon me

I feel as though there's something I'm missing

I just don't know what it is

If there's any hope of saving, I'll have to let go of everything I've carried with me

But the hardest part is the feeling of having nothing to hold on to

And at the end of the day I need to do what's best for me

So if we have to part ways, then fuck it, I'll be okay

I'll never find the help I need by giving in to your selfishness

But you are all I've ever known, the closest thing to love

The abuse is all I've ever known, the furthest thing from home

My heart would burst for you, the closest thing to love

I can't harbor all this hate

These days, nothing seems to change

I feel as if I'll stay the same

I hate feeling this way

Lost within my fleeting mind

Break me apart

Ground into dust

Break me apart

A victim of cost