Waffle Rap Lyrics

Waffle crisps are great but I eat them unorthodox

Cereal in my plate, milk, and then I just close the box

What you trynna say? That's normal? Well, fucking shucks

I guess I messed that up, sorry, I'll connect the dots

You know, the ones at the back of the box

The type of shit that causes children to remember their locks

The type of gibberish horseshit Jimbob spits at the blocks

It doesn't make any sense but I'm still getting head bobs

Because I'm made of something alien

My church is Presbyterian

My Christianity is kinda bullshit like I'm Aryan

This flow is on a killer streak don't talk to me, American

Your schools are getting shot, you wish your healthcare was Canadian

It's not so good out there across the great wide ocean

Don't you sometimes wish you had a strange white potion?

Teleport away from all your ill commotions

Then you might be finally through with that motion

The finger in the middle shouldn't rise for shit

It should be resting quietly like the rest of it

The hand that feeds should not be getting any fucking bites

You fuckers end up spoiling all your fucking appetites

That's why you're very fucking thin exactly like a stick

That's why you try to work it out and find out that don't click, shtick

Well, how bout that? Mr flip ya dick pic

Send me a picture with your ugly instinct

I'll leak it on the cloud for the world to see

As hard as that'll be given your "humongous" peen

The disrespect is real when I am stepping in the booth

Going toe to toe with me? you'll get a missing tooth

So don't you try me, bitch, I will sock you like a tube

Fuck you so hard you won't get any lube

That's disgusting, it's gross, screw it, I'm outta here

You don't deserve my rhymes, I'm too imposing and towering

But wait a second, bitch, because your Jimmy boy is back

I couldn't let you wait, I had to bring you more attacks

These waffles taste so good, and oh, they're very fucking sweet

And I will never lose, and no, I never will retreat

So you bitches thought that you could have escaped my wrath

But you forgot I had a sonar, you were always on my path

I'm a heat-seeking missile and I wanna explode

So now you're gonna face me? Man, you're feeling quite bold

Not that it matters, sooner or later I'll prevail

You're getting faster, but that shit will be to no avail

You gotta blast her, but first, you shall remove her veil

I am the master, and she is now stuck in a jail

The happy bride is crying and not for the right reasons

On this bed of thorns she's lying, she will stay here for 4 seasons

Not the hotel, I mean the planet's full rotation

She's gone through hell, her journalists got full quotations

"Help! I think Jimbob just took me hostage!"

Yeah, bitch, now don't you move if you don't wanna start shit

My conscience evolves and it goes through the stages

Just like a revolver, I'm loading the gauges

And rounds upon rounds of this fire that rages

Deep inside me, and yeah, it sticks through the ages

The stone age, the bronze, the iron, the neolithic

The old days, the gods, that shit's a bit egotistic

My boy ate the rods, he's just another statistic

That 0, 8, the odds will make this bit more logistic

Man that right there was a delightful meal

I gave a ripe scare to a weird Bible seal

Yep, it was a Christian maritime mammal

Welp, I guess you gotta tooth enamel

I'm not your dentist, but I can tell that shit ain't healthy

I'm an apprentice, so won't you please come and help me?

I've no experience, I need to be taught in the craft

There are some theories, and it's kinda hot in the trash

But gotta finish, honestly I thought it was ash

The points diminish, increasingly a horrible past

So thank you for the waffles, hope I got you with the rhymes

That shit wasn't half awful, what'll happen the next time?