Another Family Holiday (Explicit Version) Lyrics

Mom's yelling in the kitchen smells like she burned another roast

So she's serving up cold scrambled eggs and yesterday's French toast

I guess Tanqueray and wine's not the best breakfast for Christmas Eve

My sister's rolling Molly she's got a rave going upstairs

Grandpa's hitting a fat doobie in his favorite easy chair

My brother Donnie's huffing paint thinner in the van with cousins Terry and Steve

Well Dad called from the tavern said he'll be home round 10pm

My little brother's running around naked firing nerf guns in the air

Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday

Well my uncle's getting familiar with his second cousin Trish

My brother and my sister are fighting about which one of them's more rich

My aunt Sally drank our entire bottle of Laphroig we've kept for seventy years

My cousin Charlie's in the rec room you know he brought his special friend

A handsome guy he met during his stay at the Folsom County pen

My girlfriend grabs my thigh and asks can Christmas come just once this year

Dad's down at the tavern said he'll be home bout 1AM

My little brother's naked shooting paintballs in the air

Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday

I got a rock

Well I've finally had enough I scream that's it I'm going home

I'd rather watch TV with frosted flakes and spend my night alone

I slam the door and start my car I'm so ready to be out of here

I just don't understand them they got no rhyme or reason why

If I gotta spend another minute here I think I'm gonna die

Then my dad taps on the window says come on let's get a shot and a beer

We stride into the living room and the entire family cheers

My naked little brother gets cuffed right behind the ear for saying

Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday

Well let me tell you brother this one thing I know is true

One day your kids are gonna feel the same way about you so

Merry Fucking Christmas it's another family holiday

Merry Fucking Christmas we're so glad that you came and stayed

Merry Fucking Christmas I wouldn't have it any other way