Beauty Curse ft. matrad Lyrics

Some days feel like I'm left out

Like there's 100 people in the room I'm the next out

Everybody talking, I think it's shit about me

Smile yet walk about my own self doubt

Who the fuck are you to tell me who I'll ever be

Dreamin is my job you complain and watch me

Started from the bottom, flipped nothing to a brick

You hate the fact I talk bout my life, suck my whole dick

Am I not good enough to hit your standard, press skip

Don't want nobody fucking with me if they talk shit

300 songs in a year and a half

100 days sober just to never look back

Shoutouts from celebrities, still I ain't famous

Moved On to Better Thingz made it on your playlist

And if I'm not you should hear the story of my life

15 years old tried to take my shit twice

Some days I wish I went thru with it and popped something just a little stronger

Now I'm drinking cheap beer and hiding on the road

Speaking from my heart until they fear the whole soul

My homies are the best but I still feel alone

Tattoos on my body but the cuts ain't deep enough

Might slit my whole wrist to feel like I'm alive no lie

Confessions confessions these are my darkest secrets

Feel like I'm losing myself as more people start believing

The plan is make a million, hit the low

Sign a life insurance policy then imma go ghost

Blow my top off, post a song to be a legend

Pay my brother and sister college, then sleep second

The life of an artist it's a permanent struggle

For a week you feel like you're about to make it, the next it ain't the same

You see there's so many others that's posing for the game

They wanna look fly, rap hard and be the same

You wanna tell the story of your life create change

Take my headphones off, wanna speak for what I am

Confession my addiction, what I turn I am the worst

What do you imagine, what could I reverse

Waste myself to habits, I call this Beauty Curse

Fuck holding back I'm falling til' I'm thrown

Drunk for 3 weeks, high for 10 days

Fucked up while I write this, I just need a chance

Waiting on my moment if I die today I fucking tried at least I own it

If I die today I felt alive while I wrote this

11 years old when I started growing distant

What it felt like, I wish I were never living

All your family losing blood like them cell counts dipping

Losing your love for everyone like god isn't living

I just wanna feel alive and live while I'm still living

More than when I'm huffing Adderall or talking shit and sipping

Why you bitching

I've played a lot of I don't play no games, ho

You'll learn a lot of ho's turn out to be your family

I sit here while I write this and feel like I finally have made amends with myself

Sipping blue ribbon and it's 8 in the morning

Story of my life, keep the mission don't abort it

Beauty is the struggle, success is happiness

I used to worship Cole but now the world is for the kids

Young T Lil bitch

Take my headphones off, wanna speak for what I am

Confession my addiction, what I turn I am the worst

What do you imagine, what could I reverse

Waste myself to habits, I call this Beauty Curse